I'm in my early 40s and a mother to my 3 kids, who, at present, are the only thing keeping me alive. I moved to the most unfriendly state I've ever lived in (I've lived in 5 states and 2 foreign countries) for ten years and tried so hard to make friends, but failed miserably. I have aspergers, but only diagnosed last year. I was able to make friends all my life (not a whole lot, but good people) until living here. This state I live in has a very different culture and is dominated by one religion. I have not been treated well by members of this church, but I used to be a member until I moved here! My husband is horrifically mentally abusive and I'm trying to escape but there are no resources for people like me. I cannot work and I'm trying to get disability (also have several autoimmune disorders) but that isn't going well. I'm a friendly, loyal and easy to talk to person. But I can't read body language or understand when people are saying something they don't mean. I also don't pick up on things that tell most people that a person I'm trying to befriend, isn't a nice person. The only friendship I managed to find here, was with a nasty manipulative man that I thought was great for 2 years before he betrayed me. My family of origin is full of cluster B personality disorders and only my dad will have anything to do with me. My mother turned everyone, even close family against me when I had to cut contact with her for my own well-being. My kids are so sweet, but they are also mildly autistic and I can't possibly be a good role model. I'm terrified they'll turn out like me.