new here, sorry for rambling

Hi, well I ain't too great at this stuff. I had made my decision to end my life. For some reason, I don't know why, I rang the Samaritans yesterday, I felt I needed to talk through my plan with someone and say all my reasons out loud.

The call didn't go how it I thought, they helped me see things in a different light. They guilt of my very bad decisions in life and my struggles makes more sense to me now and I am thankful to that person for helping me to do that, I thought that would be impossible. Although I am still a bad person I believe, they helped me see why I made the choices I have and they even understood and seen the reasoning in them.

I guess I I feel like my plan has stalled since talking to them, I feel no need to rush it but, I feel the need to continue with it at some point. It's the thought of knowing that's my plan that is getting me through each day right now.

I don't know if that makes any sense, I feel so lonely.

 

I too am glad Samaritans help you see more clearly and help perhaps take some of the pain and sadness and guilt away. Good to see you reaching out here as well as there are many good people here that understand and can support you hugs

 

Welcome to the forum. We all struggle in life and sometimes the people who are at the lowest point of their life understand what you are going through. I am glad you spoke to someone and saw reason. Whatever you have done, does not mean you have to take your life. You will find support here. Please keep posting for support in current situation.

 

Thank you all for replying xx