new here struggling very bad

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by me76, Mar 13, 2014.

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  1. me76

    me76 Member

    hello i am new here not knowing where to turn. i have struggled with very deep depression all my life. diagnosed with depression and pstd. i also had brain surgery last year so now i deal with constant physical pain as well as mental. i don't have many friends and my family is very dysfunctional so they are not an option. but the feeling on not wanting to be here is very strong. i ended up in an abusive relationship physically and mentally; i have survived many attempts and one last weekend. And now i sit here contemplating what to do and how to do it. I am tired of feeling like this. tired of being attacked from all sides. my wife once told me to end my life. she knows what i am going through and she wont even go to the dr with me. she actually tries to trigger me on purpose. to be confused and living like this is just too much for me. sorry if i am rambling. i just don't know what to say and i don't even know if venting will help anymore.
  2. mark b

    mark b Well-Known Member

    Are you able to meet new friends . Perhaps church group or community centre.

    Somewhere with no pressures just a welcome for you.
  3. soulreaper

    soulreaper Well-Known Member

    brain surgery wow this is serious, maybe you can talk with a social worker therpists or phycologist for support.
  4. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Hi, and welcome to the site. :hug: I hope you'll continue to reach out for support here.

    The things your wife has said and done to you are just cruel. You don't deserve that; nobody does. The relationship sounds like it's hurting you more than helping you; is there any way of leaving, of starting out again on your own? I don't know if that's an option for you, and I know it probably sounds intimidating. But being with someone who puts you down and triggers you is much worse than being on your own.
  5. me76

    me76 Member

    thank you. its hard because I am in a situation where I cant leave. on disability and cant afford to
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