hello i am new here not knowing where to turn. i have struggled with very deep depression all my life. diagnosed with depression and pstd. i also had brain surgery last year so now i deal with constant physical pain as well as mental. i don't have many friends and my family is very dysfunctional so they are not an option. but the feeling on not wanting to be here is very strong. i ended up in an abusive relationship physically and mentally; i have survived many attempts and one last weekend. And now i sit here contemplating what to do and how to do it. I am tired of feeling like this. tired of being attacked from all sides. my wife once told me to end my life. she knows what i am going through and she wont even go to the dr with me. she actually tries to trigger me on purpose. to be confused and living like this is just too much for me. sorry if i am rambling. i just don't know what to say and i don't even know if venting will help anymore.