I'm not quite sure what goes on here yet, but I'll state a few words I suppose. I've been dealing with mild depression for years. But it was definitely nothing to be concerned about. That all changed when I had my daughter, who is now nearly 10 months old, I would bawl randomly for no reason, or for the dumbest reasons. I got put on medication and was okay for a little while, but just recently it started up again. I know it is selfish when I have a child. But I can't stop from just wanting to stop living. Suicide is almost always on my mind now. I feel so disconnected from my daughter which in turn makes me feel like a terrible parent, which leads to me just being even more upset. My fiance has good intentions, sometimes when he is feeling stubborn or angry I just can't make him understand that how I am feeling has nothing to do with him and I just need someone to be there for me. My friends stopped talking to me pretty much when I got pregnant and my fiance and daughter are pretty much all I have now. It has been made clear to me by several people that my thinkings of suicide are either stupid, disgusting, or selfish. I would never wish the pain I feel upon other people, I just wish they understood.