Hi everyone. I have been emotionally and mentally unstable since JAN. 18TH. On April 11th I succeeded in killing myself but was brought back by the ER doctor-for whom I feel nothing but resentment. One of the things that has kept me going since then is the fact that I have simply been too busy to get myself into the intense frame of mind that would be necessary to repeat my performance of April 11th. My wife fell off a friends porch April 21st and broke her right leg in 3 places. We lived in an upstairs apartment at the time and so I had to pack a 2 bedroom apt. full of nearly 7 years accumulation of stuff by myself. My wife got out of the hospital May 1st and because I hadn't yet found a suitable, wheelchair accessible apt. we stayed in a motel until May 14th when we moved into our new location with a ton of help. From May 1st on I have been taking care of my wife, but now she seldom needs the wheelchair and is able to fend for herself more, which is bringing back my old problem: more leisure time, and as all of you probably know already leisure time means more time to think about things and that combined with emotional problems is not a good combination. So, although I have been somewhat suicidal and having thoughts of self-harm ( I am a cutter ) all along, now those thoughts are becoming stronger. I joined suicide forum for two reasons: the first is to get help from people who have actually been through it themselves, and the second is that I thought I might be able to help someone else who is going through a rough time, thus also helping myself at the same time. Thanks for reading.