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Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by oldschoolrpg, May 24, 2007.

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  1. oldschoolrpg

    oldschoolrpg New Member

    i'm 19, i dropped out of school, i have no job. i smoke weed and drink every day and night, and if i'm not doing that, i'm sleeping or wasting my time watching too much tv. the only time i have gone out in the past 5 months is to meet up with friends and get fucked up. i do have a gf, she's very nice and caring, but i feel our relationship deterierating. we lost our virginities together so i don't want to lose her, but i get paranoid she's cheating on me (which led me to do a few stupid things myself). i want to go out and get a job but i always feel like shit. i try to hide it from my friends by talking about bullshit but i'm getting sick of putting on an act. i've failed at everything i've ever tried in my life too, by the way. and i'm a bad son. why is it so easy to get depressed, yet u have to try to be happy? i'm so fucking sick of it.
  2. Luliby

    Luliby Staff Alumni

    Depression is a cruel illness. It takes away our energy and our hope. When depressed even a shower can seem like too much energy and without hope we wonder whats the point and who cares anyway.

    It sucks away our ambition and drive. If depressed long enough we're made to watch as parts of our lives become lost to us. We often will feel guilt and shame for that loss, blaming ourself for all the things we did wrong and all the things we didn't do to fix it.

    To make matters worse, depression will parade around in our minds every bad thing that ever happened to us. One depressed thought will lead to another and another. It feeds on itself. And it's not like the cold or flu wherer two weeks later your fine.

    It's not a sad mood. It's a powerful and painful illness. Understanding this illness helps when trying to manage it.

    You are being very hard on yourself and very critical. Regardless of whether you believe its true or not.. blaming yourself and focusing on the negative will only feed the depression more. You have to fight to stay positive. Seeing a therapist and taking meds can help. It will help guide you through this.

    Keeps posting and please don't blame yourself. Depression is a terrible illness.
  3. Tara

    Tara Guest

    i couldnt have said it any better. ^^.

    :hug::arms: hope you feel better soon oldschoolrpg!
  4. kirstyclive

    kirstyclive Guest

    you can easily build up an army of friends here... we all know exactly how you feel so keep posting and talking with us... i'd like to get to know you better and we can help ach other... all of us to move forwards
  5. smackh2o

    smackh2o SF Supporter

    Lulliby is absolutly spot on.

    Also, confide in your girlfriend. Take things easy, don't stress over the job, you might find your getting over anxious because life hasnt gone all the brill for you. It's all about stepping stones, little tiny steps at first, like getting out of bed and doing a small chore, just some sort of activity like emptyping a dishwasher. Definitly cut down on the weed to start off with because although it feels good when your doing it, 2 hours later it starts its chain of downness when all your dopamine secretions cant cope anymore. Weed and too much alchohol make it harder to get happier in the long run. Just cut down for now.

    The dropping out of school can leave you feeling crappy as well. But at the end of the day, its a peice of paper they give you. Never think your incapable of doing the work. Sometimes it takes a lot longer to learn certain things for ppl, I know I dropped out because I didnt have the time to learn the stuff everyone else seemed to know.
    Last edited by a moderator: May 25, 2007
  6. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I really cannot add anymore to what has already been said. I do wish to welcome you to the forum. You will find a great deal of support from people that truly do understand. I hope you are open to listening and don't give up. Take care and stay safe. :hug:
  7. oldschoolrpg

    oldschoolrpg New Member

    thanks for letting me know there's a couple eyes recognizing me here....although i don't know how much longer i'm gonna last in this opinionated, materialistic world....without 10 million dollars....
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