new here

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by ToddMAdl, May 31, 2008.

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  1. ToddMAdl

    ToddMAdl Well-Known Member

    I'm new here, I'm 18 and I've been suffering from depression for almost all of my life I've come to the conclusion about. I just didn't recognize that I really was suffering from depression until about 3 years ago. I've had suicidal thoughts for many years going back to the age of 9. At that time even though it was only a butterknife I stuck it to my forehead and told my parents I wanted to die. That seems very serious to me that I actually did that though at the age of 9, as a result I was sent to my first therapist. I now have one psychologist and one psychiatrist that I see. Even though I've grown up with a great family and great parents I still feel empty and my general view is that life sucks and it's boring and not worth living. My parents are both M.D.'s so I've been spoiled all my life. I've received almost everything I could have wanted as far as materials. I've been all over the country and out of the country. I love to watch sports and I've been able to see some great players,teams and very prestigious sporting events but I still feel empty. All of that really means nothing to me. Being spoiled and given material items really doesn't make me happy. Now I hang out with friends and do things I think are enjoyable in the short-term but in general I'm not a happy person at all but most don't know that, it's buried deep inside and I keep it to myself for the most part. I just think life is terrible, it's boring and not worth living.
  2. smackh2o

    smackh2o SF Supporter

    Maybe you miss a challenge?
  3. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Maybe you need to work for what you get. Sometimes if you have something you have earned rather been given, it has a much greater value to you. You can appreciate things more. Depression doesn't care about financial status or good or bad home. It has different effects on everyone, but those with it share a common bond of suffering. I am sorry you find yourself here. I do hope you can find what you need to hold on and give meaning to your life. Please take care. :hug:
  4. ToddMAdl

    ToddMAdl Well-Known Member

    I understand what you mean completely but another problem of mine is I hate hard inconvenient work. I do want to accomplish alot but unfortunately I want to accomplish something great by doing as little as possible. I'm a minimalist and a hedonist and I want everything that gives me pleasure. I want the most by doing the least which isn't very realistic I know. I generally view society in terms of we work really hard in life to have the most expensive funeral we can have. In other words we work too hard in society when ultimately we die.
  5. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    Hello Todd and a warm welcome to SF im sure you will find the site beneficial
    take care
  6. BioHomocide

    BioHomocide Well-Known Member

    People work hard because they want to, or they feel they have to. A lot of people find depression because they force themselves to realize happiness. People suffer over ridiculous goals, people kill themselves trying to be the best. It is the society we live in. "Doing your best is never good enough." "You will never be good enough." "You can always do more!"

    I feel somewhat the same way you do, I do want to help the world but I don't want to actually do anything. I look around and I see so many capable people that could be doing so much and it does sicken me at times.... but I know not everyone feels the same way I do.

    You can't buy happiness... you can't force yourself on happiness.... Happiness is something you have to discover and it will be different for everyone. Not everyone in the world needs to be happy or make a difference. Most of us just live our lives because we where born..... haha I am starting to ramble on.

    Welcome to the forum! ^_^
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 1, 2008
  7. famous.last.words

    famous.last.words Forum Buddy

    Welcome to the forum,
    i hope you find the support you need here
  8. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the forum
  9. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    welcome to the forum :arms: I hope you find the help and support you need here
  10. Gunner12

    Gunner12 Well-Known Member


    I hope things get better for you in the future.
  11. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    welcome to SF x
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