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New Here.......

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by decemberblues, Nov 29, 2010.

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  1. decemberblues

    decemberblues Member

    Hi, I am new here. I am feeling a little down and hope I can find some ways to feel better.
  2. Fitzy

    Fitzy Well-Known Member

    You've chosen the right place. What's led you here?
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    HI glad you reached out here lots of caring supportive souls here.
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    hiyas and welcome!! :arms:
  5. decemberblues

    decemberblues Member

    I am dealing with a ton of health issues and I am overwhelmed right now!
  6. oval

    oval Well-Known Member

    welcome to sf! :smile:
  7. Fitzy

    Fitzy Well-Known Member

    Sounds scary! What's going on?
  8. decemberblues

    decemberblues Member

    You asked.....I have type 2 diabetes and because of it, I have nerve damage in my hands, feet and digestive system. I also have had pneumonia 4 times since August, 3 bouts landed me in the hospital, 2 of the 3, I was in in the Intensive Care Unit, fighting for each breath that I could be strong enough to breathe again. I am a smoker and I can not quit smoking. My pulmonary doctor told me if I did not quit that I would just be asking for trouble. I am not sure if I am important enough to want to stop smoking. My medication that I take to help the pain from the nerve damage is causing me to have fecal incontinence and I am not sure what is worse, the nerve damage pain or the fecal incontinence. There is more, but I don't want to scare anyone away with all of this medical talk.
  9. Fitzy

    Fitzy Well-Known Member

    That's a lot to deal with!! Brief lecture - smoking and diabetes is a bad combination and can badly screw up your circulation as well as your lungs. You said you don't think you are important enough to give up but that isn't true. You are important and you deserve to look after yourself.
    Can the medics do anything to relieve the fecal incontinence? That must be really distressing. Stay on sf and accept all the support you are given - because you deserve it.
  10. decemberblues

    decemberblues Member

    I know the lecture was coming and I can handle it. The fecal incontinence is going to drive me crazy, no doctor can tell me what is wrong. The only culprit is the medication that I take to calm the nerve damage down from a complication from diabetes, I can stop taking that but then I am in too much pain to get out of bed. There are limited ways to treat nerve damage from diabetes.

    I also suffer from major depression, panic attack disorder and anxiety. I am on medication for those problems. My doctor said I need to add Abilify to my regimen but I will not take that medication.....the list of side effects is very extensive and it can cause very high blood sugar in a person who already has diabetes. I have spent 15 months getting my blood sugar under control with massive amounts of insulin and oral medication and I am not budging on that decision. I also do not want to take Abilify because it is an anti-psychotic and I am not psychotic and Abilify causes inner restlessness and I am not going through that. I have already put on 100 extra pounds from all of the insulin that I take. That will make anyone depressed!!!!!

    On Nov. 4, 2010 I had surgery to release a cubital tunnel in my left arm to try and see if the surgery would return some of the feeling in my ring and pinky finger and the surgery was a flop, my pain, numbness and my two fingers feel like they are frostbitten and is worse than before surgery and I have been living off Norco 10/325.

    Here are the surgeries that I have had this year:

    Left Carpel Tunnel Release
    Right Cataract Removal
    Left Cataract Removal
    Left Cubital Tunnel Release

    I also had a stress tech, and echo of my heart.....everything was normal.
    When I have been in the hospital for pneumonia they did a ton of tests, everything normal. I am hearing normal too much to be having so many health issues and I am 100% overwhelmed. I just feel at times that life is not worth living this way. I think about ways to end it all quite often. I see my PCP at least 2 times a month and then I have specialist for my sleep apnea, I sleep with a CPAP machine with oxygen bleed in the machine. I am on 3 liters of oxygen 24 hours a day and I go outside to smoke since you can't smoke if oxygen is in use.

    I have no life because my entire life is built around going to the doctor, this is not what I want out of my life.

    I decided that I am tired of soiling the bed, even though I have to wear adult diapers with underpads. I just will stay awake all night and see what time that I need to use the restroom. I have to change my bed twice a day and my Mom helps me with the laundry. I don't want to live this way.
  11. Fitzy

    Fitzy Well-Known Member

    I don't know what to say - platitudes are no good to you. There are very knowledgable and compassionate people on sf - keep posting or go into chat to get emotional support. There are others with severe physical problems who will be empathetic. Please also know that I'm thinking about you. X
  12. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    You said you won't take abilify.. I was on it for a while and they changed me to Geodon..Talk to your doctor about that..I also am suppose to wear a cpap machine but I rip it off in the middle of the night so I quit using it.. They said I stop breathing 11 times a minute..So I can relate to part of what you are going thru.. Don't give up hope..
  13. ZombiePringle

    ZombiePringle Forum Buddy and Antiquities Friend

    welcome to SF... hope you find what you need.
  14. spiritxfade

    spiritxfade Well-Known Member

    wow...that's a lot to deal with....

    i hope you find the support you're looking for here. the people (that i've talked to) have all been really nice. don't give up!
  15. decemberblues

    decemberblues Member

    You are right, platitudes are no good to me. They serve a very small purpose. Thanks for replying but I knew you wouldn't understand. I have both mental and physical health problems, I will keep posting.
  16. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member


    Nothing worse than feeling bad then having a crap load of medical issues to go along with it.

    I also went through a year 1/2 of medical hell. Its very tiresome on your mind and body. Do you see any peace in the future with it? I know all about smoking, I also smoke. Such a bad habit that I wish I would never had started. Do you think not smoking will make you feel better? How long have you smoke, Im sure you wrote that but didnt see it. Have you tried any of the non smoking pills, I do hear differance of opins on that, some do good and some do bad.

    Im here anytime you want to vent or chat.
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