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Discussion in 'Welcome' started by jessneedstobethin, Mar 16, 2012.

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  1. jessneedstobethin

    jessneedstobethin Well-Known Member

    hi i'm jess, i just signed up and am figuring out how to use the site. just hoping to find some comfort here i guess, i don't really have any friends, not ones i can talk to about important stuff anyway. i find it hard to talk to new people, so i'm hoping this will be easier. fingers crossed you'll like me and won't think i'm a loser like everybody else does.
    i have had disordered eating and been self harming for about 10 years now. they sort of go hand in hand with me. i've been thinking about suicide more seriously recently but i do want help, somehow. i'm sort of stuck, and i'm just not sure how to change things.
    anyway, i just thought i'd introduce myself, and maybe i'll pop up somewhere on the forum when i've figured things out.
    thanks for taking me in.
  2. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    hi jess.. welcome. look around the place in your own time.. lots of posts in the eating disorder and self harm forums.. take care, Jim
  3. LostNerd

    LostNerd Well-Known Member

    As Jim said above, welcome! :)

    My name is Peter. SF is a great community of people who will not judge you but respect you for who you are. You're in safe hands here.

    If you have any questions about how to navigate or use any of SF's functionality, or simply feel like you need to get something off your mind, please don't hesitate to hit that Private Message button on my profile :)

    See you around!

    Peter :)
  4. jessneedstobethin

    jessneedstobethin Well-Known Member

    thanks you guys, am happy to be here.
  5. LostNerd

    LostNerd Well-Known Member

    We're happy to have you here also Jess :)

  6. Moat

    Moat Banned Member

    The only time you are a loser is when you choose to believe it about yourself.

    Anyway, greetings to the site. Sit a spell and have some Bubbles ^^
  7. jessneedstobethin

    jessneedstobethin Well-Known Member

  8. Moat

    Moat Banned Member

    So tell us a little more about yourself, if you please?

    I think you will find that we are all a little mad (goofy) but loveable in our respective ways ^^
    After all, where else will you find and converse with someone who wants nothing more than to see chickens dressed up as trannies and put on a stage to sing opera music or watch mice playing poker in a hot tub? :hamster:
  9. jessneedstobethin

    jessneedstobethin Well-Known Member

    they would be funny things to see :)
    um, not sure what you'd want to know... i'm from london, england. i'm a police support officer and i volunteer in a hospital in my spare time.
    i didn't have a great time growing up as a family friend sexually abused me many times when i was very young, and when i told my parents, when i was 10, they didn't believe me. both of my work environments remind me a lot of that time, so every day is a bit of a challenge. i try to get through, but i just need people to talk to you know. i've told my GP about my depression, and she made me fill out a questionnaire to see how depressed i was, and apparently it's not enough for medication. she just said i should see a therapist, but that really scares me, just because it's hard to trust people and tell them things, i guess because my parents didn't listen/help when i needed them most.
    i love films, books and art, and i'm a complete science geek - i'm starting a degree in september in astronomy and planetary science. in general, things in my life are getting better, it's just memories of my past and how they've affected me that are holding me back.
  10. Moat

    Moat Banned Member

    You are telling me! One day, I will achieve that dream... or get arrested for animal cruelty first... perhaps not a good thing to tell you, seeing as how you are a police support officer and have "contacts" :chuncky:

    That s great though - I finally know someone from England who is not family! Struth, I need a life...
    But anyway, you sound like a well rounded and respected person to be a support officer and volunteer in a hospital, even after what you have gone through in your past. Sweet as! Be proud of yourself or I will have to be for you :stars::lol!:

    You know, it is probably a good thing that your GP will not put you on any medication. The fact that you seem to be dealing with things from your past in the way that you are should be enough to tell you that while things get bad sometime, you are not as bad off as some other people. Given the choice, a therapist is always much more preferable over medication any day. Medication there is always that risk of getting addicted on them until you cannot live without them... and they co not offer you much in the way of support when you really need someone to talk with.

    Sorry, but what does a planetary scientist actually do? I am not much versed in the way of sciences, my apologies. My abilities lie more in journalism and philosophy. And well, you know, maybe some memories are holding you back from living the dream life that you always wished for, but from everything you have said that you do for work, volunteer and going for a degree - you are doing pretty darn well, girl! Smile and live it up! :hamtaro:
  11. jessneedstobethin

    jessneedstobethin Well-Known Member

    lol! well when chickens are able to sing opera music and mice are able to play poker, i'm guessing they'll have their own laws to protect them from people dressing them up as trannies/putting them in hot tubs haha!

    likewise! i work with so many people every day but don't have anyone i'm close to. it's nice to have someone to talk to on here :) i don't think i'm doing badly in life, but it is really difficult sometimes, to think clearly and sensibly, because suicide is on my mind so much. i just thought medication would help with that.

    there's loads of different jobs connected to astronomy and planetary science, but i don't think there's one with the title 'planetary scientist' lol. it's mainly physics and geology, and just learning everything there is to know about the stars and planets in our universe :)
  12. Moat

    Moat Banned Member

    Yeah, I guess you are right there... Here's hoping that if they ever can do those things, they will not develop much sentience as to attack the person dressing them up and forcing them to do that kind of stuff! The last thing I ever need is a family of field mice running around my dacks and being chased across the fields by chooks. I get enough of that from sheep!

    I know how tiring that can be, to help so many people but not really be able to ask them for help in return, out of fear that you are imposing on them or putting their problems second, so you made the right choice in signing up here. If you ever find you need to talk about anything, just sign on here and you will always have someone's ear... and me, being online almost 20 hours a day haha Darn insomnia!

    As far as medication goes, I see the benefits of it, but for me, they do not really solve the problem. They just put a "happy face" on your problems while you are taking them and if you ever decided to stop the medication, then your problems return ten-fold, when you have nothing to deaden your senses. Therapists are always the better option, in my mind.

    Eugh - you just mentioned the two things that make my eyes glaze over and leave me staring blankly whenever someone asks me to try and understand it! :p
    What is the reason that got you so interested in astronomy and the such, can I ask? A particular favourite planet or star? Or just to expand your understanding of the Universe and how things work?
  13. Deadtwice

    Deadtwice Well-Known Member

    Hi and welcome to sf.
    First thing first what dose a support office do. If all the officers do is say " stop, or I shal say stop agian!". =D
    There are to many Brits on here lol. I do not know if the joke will carry over. :/
    I have found it a great safe haven here away from my life(which is totally screwed up right now). I hope you find it as pleasant as I do. I'll be happy to message any time. 1 am to 4 am Zulu if I got my time zones right will be when I'm on most.
  14. Moat

    Moat Banned Member

    Run for the hills, it is a new British invasion!
  15. jessneedstobethin

    jessneedstobethin Well-Known Member

    where do the sheep come in? do you live in the countryside? i think being chased by sheep sounds far more scary than being chased by chickens and mice! it would definitely be harder to dress them up, that's for sure :)

    thank you! i already feel like this is one of the best choices i've made in a long time. likewise, if you need someone to talk to, i'm here :) see, this is what i've been missing. i haven't had anyone to talk to properly in SUCH a long time. i appreciate it a lot!

    i know it should sound like a bad thing, but when you said about how meds 'deaden your senses', it sounded perfect. i can't imagine myself getting addicted to alcohol or anything, like some people do to forget, so i just want something that will numb me a little - at least for a while :( i really can't talk to therapists. i had one when i was in school, but i saw her about 5 times and we never got anywhere. whenever the conversation gets too personal, i just freeze. i can't share - not face to face anyway. it's just too difficult. and yet i don't want to be like this forever. i just don't know.

    i love all the different sciences. i don't know what first got me interested, i just feel it's better thinking about everything that's so much bigger than us as humans - we're not the top of the food chain, the world doesn't revolve around us - we are just one, tiny part of the Earth's life, and our planet is just one tiny thing in this huge, expanding universe. it's just amazing, all of it :)

    not sure what you mean about there being too many brits on here...
    but i hope i like it here as much as you do :) it already seems like a wonderful site with some truly lovely people!
    support officers help the community - we help in many different ways, not just acting on crime, which is what most people think and assume we don't do anything because we can't arrest criminals etc. it's a busy job, and there is need for many more of us, just like any public service :)
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 16, 2012
  16. glenne2000

    glenne2000 Member

    Hi and welcome. I am new here too and I'm also interested in science, being a chemistry graduate many moons ago. In fact when I was in school I thought astronomy would be a very interesting major. But I took an astrology class by mistake and now I can't pass a horoscope without cringing. lol

    Wecome and lets chat science when you get a chance. Or anything else you want to talk about. Glenn
  17. Deadtwice

    Deadtwice Well-Known Member

    It seems like 2/3 of the people on sf are from London. The stop or I shall say stop again is a joke about british police. With the lack of arms. It is a common joke in the parts of the US I have been in. I did not know if any one would get the joke because most people seem to be Brits.
  18. jessneedstobethin

    jessneedstobethin Well-Known Member

    hi glenne2000
    i hope you're feeling good about joining this site like i am! it seems great right :)
    a chem grad, that's pretty cool! what do you do? i'm definitely looking forward to my degree, and i get a choice of some of the modules, so may have some chemistry in there, as it was my best subject at school. i can't think of anything worse than doing an astrology course haha! did you take it for the whole year?

    talking science sounds good to me, though i reckon you probably know way more than me! :)
  19. jessneedstobethin

    jessneedstobethin Well-Known Member

    lol, yeh there is that - there are plenty of jokes about americans being all about guns and very trigger happy too lol. it's actually quite funny how different america and england are, even though we're seemingly economically very similar and our cultures were born out of the same things.
  20. Moat

    Moat Banned Member

    Oh, well, let me just say that I have a rather... love/hate relationship with sheep, ever since I was young.
    I grew up on a farm in Yass (near Canberra) with my foster dad and sister until I went back home to live with my real mum when I was 5 or so and every day, I got up to do a few chores around the farm and one of my chores was to go around the property and check on the fences, to make sure that none of them were broken so the livestock would not get out. Anyway, I had to cross the paddock where we used to keep the sheep and for some reason, the instant they saw me crossing their field, they always charged at me. So here's a 4-5 year old running for his life across the paddocks and barely managing to scramble over the fences before I am hit by a herd of crazed wool!
    Ever since then, I have gone back to the farm occasionally for visits and help out and to this day, I have to cross that same paddock and every time, the instant one of them spots me, it is a battle for survival! I am not sure if I must have done something to them in a past life or they perceive me as a threat for some reason, but I really do think these days that sheep are out to kill me, so they can take over the World.

    I was not sure at first when I joined this site if it would be any help and thought that I would not stay very long here, but I suppose that being a member for 3 years now goes to show that it is a great site and you always will find someone willing to help out at any time. ^^ And cheers, I appreciate it a lot also to come to you if I ever need to talk. Support is only as good as the people you surround yourself with!

    The thing about medication deadening your senses is more accurate than a lot of people like to think. Sure, it does help your situation, but there comes a point after you have been taking them for a while that you start to rely on them and start using them more and more when your problems start to surface again until you reach the point where you find yourself hating what you are doing and try to stop taking them - only to find that everything you think and feel hits you so much harder when your system is clear of the drug that is supposed to numb it. That is when someone genuinely contemplates suicide and has a much higher chance of going through with it or turning to alcohol or hard cocaine, heroin etc to get away from their pain.
    I cannot say to you that you should not take anything - that is for you to decide only. All I can say is that if you do choose some kind of medication, then do not rely on it for everything or expect it to solve all of your problems.

    I can understand what you mean by freezing up whenever you were asked to talk about personal things; I do not think there is anyone who would feel comfortable in telling their most personal thoughts and life with a complete stranger! A ip that I can pass on to you that helps me a lot every day if I ever get anxious out in public or what-have-you is that if you keep the thought in your mind that if you are dealing with someone out on the street or in a professional way that you have never met before, do not give it a second thought as to if they might judge you for anything you say or do. At the end of the day, just how often are you going to see them in your life? Chances are, you will never see them again so it does not matter if you make an arse out of yourself in front of them. :kool:

    Ah, I see where you are coming from! You are not just a scholar, but a philosopher! :yeah: I have spent far too long thinking about all that myself and have not come up with any answers, so I hope that you with your learning will be able to discover things that I never could. ^^ Direct your attention, if I can propose, to the planet Venus and the Barnards Sar System, as well as the Oort Cloud. :wink:
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