New, hi, possible trigger

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by onebody, Aug 20, 2015.

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  1. onebody

    onebody New Member

    Hi, just joined. I have been fighting severe depression, anxiety and PTSD for a while now. I have no insurance, money or a job at this time. I live in a state that did not expand Medicaid, so there is no help available for me here at this time. Additionally, I do not trust the 'community' resources since the only available people in this small town to help have lied to me and did things to make me not be able to get the help I need in the past when I did reach out for help.

    I'm going through some anniversaries of extreme loss and need a way to make it through this time of year. The pain is just as great, if not greater than, when these past events happened. That is why I am here. Kind of a last resort.
  2. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Welcome to the forum. Life is important and that includes you. You are suffering but you to live hour by hour. Most of the members here understand what you are going through. You are at a low ebb of your life but you have to remain strong. Please look at the old posts here and you will understand a lot of people still or have gone through the same symptoms. Do not worry and please keep posting as we are a very supportive community. Take care and be safe.
  3. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    There are phone chat for crisis situation, there are free programs out there for mental health. Keep advocating for your accessibility
  4. MissMouse

    MissMouse New Member

    Hi unknown, like yourself I have PTSD, and those triggers are hard, especially when they come from left field. I found naming my triggers and reminding myself that Im safe and I'm ok has helped me to be able to sit a bit easier with the triggers. My biggest fear with memories of the events, was the intensity of the emotions that I experienced at the time. With professional help, I learnt to touch that box of memories and then I realised that what I was afraid of, was re-experiencing the intensity of the emotions that I experienced at the time. By going back to that memory I realised that the emotions has dissipated and it was just the nuts and bolts of the memory that was left.

    Coping with PTSD, takes time and for me the triggers are easing, however today it feels like they are firing off every which way due to stuff with the ex
  5. TheRiver

    TheRiver Member

    Hi onebody,

    I have PTSD and anxiety as well, it can be debilitating. At times I feel like I am "stuck" in the same situation I was in 40 years ago that brought it all on to start with. I hope you find some help here with all this.
  6. onebody

    onebody New Member

    Thank you for your replies. I have times where I feel almost ok, usually when I'm with my husband. But most times, I'm not. The anxiety has gotten to a place (again) where I spend more time in a panic attack than out of one. The depression is just horrible.

    I don't feel safe because my ex-husband is still stalking me, after over 6 years. And I will have to come out of hiding in a sense in the next year or so because his attorney lied in court and said he took my name off the mortgage on the house. He didn't. I filed a quit claim deed because I figured I would spend more money on attorneys, and more time stuck with him in court, than what I would get. All he had to do was take my name off, and he would have the house that he refused to move out of. Of course as soon as I moved out, he moved into his mom's house. Just a small glimpse into the mindset of what I've been trying to get away from for a really long time (had to plan over a few years to be able to get away from him).

    There's obviously more to my story, but just a small view of why I'm dealing with panic attacks. My (now, new) husband says he'll protect me and that I'm safe. But all the people in the past that promised me that all failed and ended up abandoning me just when I needed them. Leading to where I am now. I can't go to court in that town where at least one police officer and possibly 2 others were paid off and/or were related to my ex. Have you ever seen a police officer lie in court and get away with it? Had off the wall lies believed over concrete, physical evidence? That's the ultimate in scary.

    I gave my ex everything and it still wasn't enough. I just can't go through that again.
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