My name is Liz. I am 16 years old. I am completely new to this. On November 4th 2012 I took <edit mod total eclipse method> in attempted to completely end my life. Right now this is the first time I am even saying this to anyone and even myself. I was in denial for a long time and had to stay in an institute of living. I was suffering with such a great amount of inner sadness for almost 6 years that I had thought it was normal to want to die. I never once told anyone that I was feeling that way and I think that is why I finally gave up. Every day I am alone. After I attempted suicide things have only gotten worse. Everyone is mad at me and I understand why because it was extremely selfish of me to do what I did. But there is nothing harder than fighting so hard when no one is fighting for you. I have had to deal with a lot of punishments and I finally told everyone "you are punishing me for something I punish myself for every single day." I thought things would be different but I feel like I have gotten even weaker, I hate myself more than anything else in this world, I have never felt so alone, and I think about putting it all to an end again almost everyday. I struggle To truly find something or someone to fight for. I'm sorry for venting and complaining I don't really expect anyone to read this but I almost gave it all up tonight again and this is my way of breathing and hopefully letting myself believe there might actually be someone out there that cares.