New, hopeless and trapped.

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Morgese05, Dec 9, 2012.

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  1. Morgese05

    Morgese05 New Member

    My name is Liz. I am 16 years old. I am completely new to this. On November 4th 2012 I took <edit mod total eclipse method> in attempted to completely end my life. Right now this is the first time I am even saying this to anyone and even myself. I was in denial for a long time and had to stay in an institute of living. I was suffering with such a great amount of inner sadness for almost 6 years that I had thought it was normal to want to die. I never once told anyone that I was feeling that way and I think that is why I finally gave up. Every day I am alone. After I attempted suicide things have only gotten worse. Everyone is mad at me and I understand why because it was extremely selfish of me to do what I did. But there is nothing harder than fighting so hard when no one is fighting for you. I have had to deal with a lot of punishments and I finally told everyone "you are punishing me for something I punish myself for every single day." I thought things would be different but I feel like I have gotten even weaker, I hate myself more than anything else in this world, I have never felt so alone, and I think about putting it all to an end again almost everyday. I struggle To truly find something or someone to fight for. I'm sorry for venting and complaining I don't really expect anyone to read this but I almost gave it all up tonight again and this is my way of breathing and hopefully letting myself believe there might actually be someone out there that cares.
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 9, 2012
  2. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Hi honey, you have come to right place, there are many caring souls on here (all of us!) who care about other souls who are reaching out, and we try to reach out and give support - a listening ear, friendship, encouragement - it's a loving place to be and I hope you decide to stay and look around the site to see what suits you best :) Am sorry to hear that life is a struggle for you presently, but it certainly is possible to find a cause and meaning to live life for. Number one cause being yourself honey, learning to like yourself and to know you are a survivor and born to win over the stuff that had brought you low :)
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi hun you can vent all you want ok we understand It is good to talk about how you are feeling and tohave someone listen that does understand. I hope that you continue to reach out hun for support you need and deserve ok here and in real world as well. It is hard being young i know that but things change so quickly hun and they will for you Just hold on to us here ok until things to change for the better hugs
  4. yep

    yep Well-Known Member

    Hi Liz, as other members have said, you are not alone. This is a place where we support each other during our crisis and will respect you fully without judging you with acceptance and care. As much as you have been brave to come here to talk about your difficult time and your desire to die to end your pain an d suffering and as much as it felt OK to take that first step, you can be sure that you can vent your anguish here safely and get the support you need. You are not alone.
  5. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    Hello Liz and welcome..we do care about you very much. Whole purpose of this place to help others from taking their lives.. You can use some help.. May not be easy but think you need some professional help.. Your mind is a really bad place.. In the meantime try to keep talking with us.. Please Liz stay safe and take care, Jim
  6. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    Hi Liz, welcome to SF. It seems to be a common problem that most people don't understand depression and suicidal thoughts unless they have dealt with them firsthand. We here understand what you are going through, because we are dealing with similar issues. So you should never feel ashamed or embarrassed or feel like you have to hold everything inside, because you can let it all out here. Please keep talking and we will do our best to help and support you.
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