I've been on the forum for about a week now, I guess, and I figured I'd say a little something about me. I'm 47, diagnosed bi-polar, major depressive disorder, ptsd, anxiety..... you name it. I started getting depressed when I was about 10, and have fought the battle on and off ever since. I was abused by my father and brother as I was growing up,and even to this day, i take verbal abuse from both. SO i strive to stay away from them as much as possible. I fight constant suicidal thoughts, and nearly every day I look for ways and think about it. I've had four unsuccessful attempts, and the last one was almost two years ago. I keep going because I have a great wife and two kids that would be crushed without me. So, i take my meds, i talk with my doc, and try as much as possible to "keep passing open windows." I have already done so much...I've kicked booze, with just over a year sober, thank you AA!! I have a good job. I have a nice home, and a good life....yet that is not enough for some reason. I'm already gaining some sense of relief with the forum, knowing that I am not alone, and that there are others with the same feelings. It also helps to know that I can voice my feelings when I need to; and help others when I can. Thank you so much for this forum, hopefully it doesn't go away!!