That is the decision that is coming before me now. No doubt as many of you know by now thru our conversations, my soon to be ex wife has been thinking about "allowing" me to come back home. She has even gone so far as to take the kids and look at a 3 bedroom rental house, she is considering renting. Now....6 months ago, I would have been estatic by this news. All I wanted after my wife left me was to fix this. And when I realized I couldnt, all I wanted to do was die. But then...thru the haze of alcoholism...little moments of sobriety started showing up. I realized that I was actually starting to enjoy being on my own. And then something else happened. And I believe this completely, God sent me an Angel, in the form of a woman. Because, no woman (besides my Mother, I suppose) has ever shown me in such a short period of time, the true real love and care and compassion and well everything....that this woman has. She knows I am an alcoholic. She knows I have other issues....SHE DOESNT CARE! She has said repeatedly, we we face them together. She has told me, and in a way of which and in a tone of which I never heard from my wife....I LOVE YOU. Now...so last night came. I decided when I got home from work, to hop in the shower, and then go to my wife's place to see my kids and, to see what in the heck is going on. I told her that if we were to get back together, it would have to be as husband and wife. It would never work as just roommates. I told her, that I couldnt promise that I would never drink again. And...she didnt say the right words. Now...she has been thru a lot. I burned her badly. Hell...we burned each other pretty well. But...what she said was more of a dictating terms kind of thing. The ole, well if you come back, you can't do this, and you can't do that....but "If" you keep doing the right things....blah, blah, blah. Funny thing is...If God hadnt of shown me what real love feels like, ( and I really thought I knew-I mean 20 years of marriage, I ought to know) I would be posting today about how happy I was that my wife and I were getting back together. Instead I am posting that I know, that where I was at in that marriage was a pool of water in which I was drowning, and no one was throwing me a life rope. I dont want to jump back into that water. I know what love feels like now. And that love ain't coming from my wife. I suppose we can work on that...but I don't think you can work on love. You either have it or you don't. So my decision has been made. I love my new lady with all that I am...and she feels the same. How can I turn away from that?