I'm so sick of feeling this way.... More than half the time I cannot get the idea of killing myself out of my head. I'm a grad student and you'd think that would give me something to work for but I just don't care anymore. I feel like everyone in my academic department hates me and I spend most of my non-school time in my apartment, alone. I seriously cannot take this anymore. I've been on every type of medication possible and nothing provides even a bit of relief. I don't know where to go.