New member introduction

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Williamstuckinarut, Jan 16, 2016.

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  1. Williamstuckinarut

    Williamstuckinarut Well-Known Member

    Hello to everyone reading this. My name is William I'm 31 and I just registered to this forum.
    Something about me: I live by myself, rarely leave the house. My parents live quite close and know I'm depressed but I try not to show it because I see how it makes them upset. I am crying as I write this, perhaps this is going somewhere and I will be able to see a way out of this mess I put myself into. I have no trust in friends, talking to them hasn't gone well in the past, but this is a topic for another thread.
    May 2015 I resigned from the last job I had and haven't been able to improve my situation since. I'm a stubborn one, don't really like talking about myself and the idea of talking to a counselor puts me into a serious anxious state.
    I never attempted suicide, except for maybe once when I overdosed on drugs, but I was so out of it at the time (18 months ago) that I can't tell for sure I wanted to die. I know I've always thought about killing myself since I remember.
    I hope to read insightful information here and finally face what it is that keeps me locked in fear all the time.
    Thank you for reading,
    Will
     
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi William welcome to the forum. I for one am glad you joined us here because all help each other in a safe setting. We don't judge each other and we're compassionate. Not showing your illness because it makes your parents upset says a lot about you as a person. No one wants their parents to see them go through what we've gone and are enduring. Einsteins theory of insanity was doing the same thing every day and expecting different results, I have always took that saying on board. Maybe you can find somewhere in your life to apply that to. I am really sorry you are crying, that doesn't make you weak, you are strong 'cos you are still here with us and fighting this disaster of a disease. I wish you all the best on your journey here of SF :)
     
  3. SemorePagne

    SemorePagne Member

    I face similar inhibitions in regards to confiding in other people. Even people I've become intimate with, I feel an immense distrust for when trying to unfetter myself. I'm forced to admit it is mostly due to an adherence to cultural norms. I am expected to be unfeeling, therefore I am, even if I'm not. It's a tragic irony.

    Also, call it a libidinous prejudice if you want, but I find it essentially impossible to discuss these issues with men, even my closest friends of fifteen years. While with women, especially if they're beautiful and compassionate, it's much easier. There's no greater thesis to this mention, it's just a confession of my shamelessness.
     
  4. Williamstuckinarut

    Williamstuckinarut Well-Known Member

    Thank you Petal your words resonate a lot, you're good at this ;)
    You know what I need? I need to climb a mountain, come back here and post some pics for you people to see.

    Semore, thank you for your input, talking about mental issues is certainly a hard thing to do. It's also hard to see a friend in a difficult place and not be giving inappropriate advice. I've realized that the only way I'll make new friends or see the old ones again is when I can proudly hold my chin high and say I'm doing good, heading somewhere in my life. Until then I-m on a one manned boat. I've got to sort myself out first.
     
  5. SemorePagne

    SemorePagne Member

    I wouldn't necessarily assume that you can only have a place as a consoler if you are have achieved higher emotional stature. The reality is that people around you may very well be comforted by your vulnerabilities. People who are in a tumultuous state of distress often feel intimidated by those who are better off. They feel condemnation and rejection. If you are struggling, offer to help others. It can be fantastic remedy without realizing it. You can draw strength from others weaknesses.
     
  6. Moat

    Moat Banned Member

    Cooee, William; we spoke briefly on the chat earlier today, if you remember? Feel free to hit me up any time, day or night, since I am online a lot of the time (and rarely need much sleep, so it is easy to catch me on-line).
    You made a great choice in joining SF - from my experiences here over the years, it is perhaps the safest place anywhere on the internet in which you can talk freely and openly about anything and everything you are going through and not fear being judged, since all the members and staff have their own personal reasons for being here also and we all can relate in some way or another as to how you feel.

    I used to welcome people with PPG Bubbles emoticons, but until that features comes back online, I am afraid you will have to settle with my avatar of the ever cute and adorable Bubbles - she loves everyone!
    So welcome, not just from SF but also those of us members living down here in the Commonwealth of Australasia!
    (I am also the unofficial Powerpuff representitive of SF, spreading cuteness all over the site!)
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 17, 2016
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  7. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Member Safety & Support

    Glad you found us William. Hope you find some comfort and help here. The bad thing is that there really are no magic answers. Good thing is that you are young and show a real desire to turn things around. Petal quoted Einstein. I like a guy name Viktor Frankl. He wrote a book call 'Man's Search for Meaning'. He was a concentration camp survivor who later became a psychologist. The thing I remember from his book is to find one thing, just one, that you enjoy. Then build from there. That is rather my motto. When I am really down, I just think about one thing I really like. It doesn't have to be a big thing either. A sunny day or a warm chocolate cookie will do just fine.

    I totally get your reluctance to talk to others. Especially about things like depression. People just don't know how to respond or handle it. I have found that people don't generally like to listen to others talk anyway. But they sure like people to listen to them. And listening deeply and intently to another person can be the start of a close relationship. One where they will eventually deeply and intently listen to you.

    Take care of yourself.
     
    2 people like this.
  8. Williamstuckinarut

    Williamstuckinarut Well-Known Member

    Thanks Moat, I'm already feeling THE bubbles!

    Thank you SOB, I've never heard of Viktor Frankl, one interesting thing to reserach today!
     
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