I am 22 years old, I've have had a server struggle with mental illness. When I was 16 I had a psychotic break, I heard voices saw things and I thought the government was after me, I held my hand <edit mod total eclipse triggering>, cut myself, and bit myself. The way my family looked at me was the worst, mother even said I need to take my pills so I don't become a serial killer - I don't blame her though, my psychosis got so bad that I even hit the family dog a couple of times. When I was 19 my psychosis cleared up and got a hold of my depression. I feel like I have accomplished a lot, just with my mental health - and even getting my high school diploma since I have ADD and not intelligent. However I do think I have a great sense of humor and good at public speaking, I've even given speeches in front of a 100 people on multiple occasions. My other problem is... well, it's embarrassing but.... I have a small penis it's only 3 1/2 inches. So that brings me here today.... 22 years old, unemployed, stupid, dork, unattractive loser. My penis size never bothered me until lately - I always even as a child looked inward and was never really interested in dating or looking good cause I was always more interested in art, spirituality, and movies. However lately me sex drive has increased which has caused me think more about sex and dating. I'm sorry for posting such along post but I feel really depressed. I read some articles about how men who have small penis are less evolved and their wives cheat on them, which really got me down. And so I feel like my only options are celibacy or suicide. I've just had enough - I just want to sleep and never wake up! I know exactly where I am going to be 10 years from now, I'll be living with my elderly father taking care of him, depressed, ugly, alone, angry, and never accomplishing anything. I wana just kill myself, but I'd hate to do that to my 3 sisters. If they were dead or something I would just <mod edit - methods> like my uncle did. I sometimes hope that one day I can sacrifice my life to save the world or someone else that way I'd be a hero, but that's just wishful thinking. I have been thinkg of going to the park near my apartment building, taking pills to OD and just die there, that way my family wouldn't find me. But I take<mod edit - method>and I heard it's not enough to kill you, but just give you brain damaged. Maybe I deserve that though. I hope there is a hell - cause that is where I belong, it would just and right for me to suffer that way. Nobody could ever love especially a women. The only reason my sisters put up with me is because they are great people and I am there brother. I'm sorry the post is long.... I don't even know why I am writing this... I haven't sleeping very well and I don't even why I saying that. ho ever thank you - to anyone who reads this.