New member, relapse

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Shyanekh, Sep 14, 2014.

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  1. Shyanekh

    Shyanekh New Member

    Hi, I didn't really know what to call this thread or where it should go. I've just joined the forum today, so I apologize if I've made any mistakes.

    I'm 24 and haven't cut myself since I was about 18/19. Tonight I cut for the first time in years. I feel embarrassed and ashamed and don't really know what to do. For a few months now I've contemplated suicide, only passively and without making definite plans. I reasoned that this was probably fairly normal and that since I didn't have a plan it wasn't anything to be concerned about.

    I haven't cut deeply and I'm not in any danger. I just cut enough to draw blood and most likely require long sleeves for a while. I thought writing something might be helpful.
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I am glad you found us and welcome to SF , though I am sorry for the situation that has got you here.Talking about things really does help for a lot of people and I hope it does you too.

    While sorry you cut and disappointed yourself (particularly the disappointed yourself part) I am far more concerned that it has been several month you have been pondering suicide and not had any help with those thoughts. Feel free to share here on what is going ion in your life or what things are bothering you - maybe one of our members will have some ideas that can help a little. At the least you have a lot of understanding people that will not judge you for your thoughts. :hug:
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 15, 2014
  3. Shyanekh

    Shyanekh New Member

    Thank you, it means a lot. I'm feeling calmer now and the cut really isn't particularly bad, just disappointed with myself that I did it in the first place.

    As to the suicidal feelings, I suffer from depression and I'm prone to both misanthropy and nihilism. When I get stressed (and I think that's the most likely reason, Uni work can be a pain at times) I tend to start finding fault with everything in the world and everybody around me. It's easy to go from that stage to concluding that there's not a lot of point in sticking around.
  4. Sparrow91

    Sparrow91 Well-Known Member

    I'm in a similar boat, I stopped cutting for a few years and then stressed out and did it again, along with overthinking I usually feel like a mess... But writing here is definitely helpful somedays... You lasted awhile without harming you can do it again, keep your head up :)
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