Hi I'm...thefreakyazn. I'm suffering from depression. Why? Tell you the truth I'm not quite positive. I am able to give you guys a starting point though. You see, I fell in love with...a guy...and I'm a guy. But that's just part of the problem. The guy I fell in love with is my own cousin...and he's straight. What makes it worse is that I think that I not only suffer depression but from bipolar traits since half of me loves him but the other half hates him. It's very complicated since it began last summer and it's been one whole year. The guy, my cousin(mike), knows I'm in love with him. Only a few of my friends know I'm bisexual but only Mike and his sister Amy know that I'm in love with Mike. Last weekend, "Cousins' Weekend" was held at my house. Cousins' Weekend is a weekend where a bunch of my cousins come over and party. Mike and his sister of course came over. I'm in love with him and whats worse is that I don't want to be. I've slit my wrists a couple of times that weekend because of all the stress of trying to hide my feelings. You see, I want to commit suicide for a long time but at the same time I don't. But I have to since I can't stand and watch Mike having "sex" or "flirt" with girls. I just don't know what to do any more. I'm only 15 and I'm acting as if I were 50.