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Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Joanieo, Aug 6, 2016.

  1. Joanieo

    Joanieo Member

    Hello,

    Just wanted to share my story. I am a 69 year old widow. I was my husband's caretaker for the previous two years. He passed away last December. While he was in the care facility, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. The outcome of that was a double mastectomy, chemotherapy. I feel I am going "down the rabbit hole"! I am very lonely, feel terrible about myself, and don't know what to do. I have friends, but they are couples, so I am now the extra wheel! I just need to get some focus in my life. Thanks for reading this.
     
  2. SinisterKid

    SinisterKid Safety & Support SF Supporter

    HI Joanieo and welcome to SF. No need to be alone here, theres usually someone around to talk/chat to. I know once you finish caring for someone, because they die or go into full time care or hospital, a person can feel at a loose end and not know what to do to fill that time that used to be spent looking after a loved ones needs.

    It sounds like its been a hellish two years or so. You have done a marvellous job of coming through it all. What a fighting spirit you must have. Are there any groups in your area that you could become involved with? I did some group therapy, it got me out of the house, I met some new people and made a friend or two, plus learnt something along the way. But the groups could be anything, walking, photography, dining, anything that appeals. I am sure you will find more single people like yourself.

    There are online groups and communities you can get involved with, but they keep you inside most of the time. I tend to stay away from them, apart from this place. I dont do social media at all. But again there are active groups of people to be found on such sites if its your thing.
     
  3. Joanieo

    Joanieo Member

    Thank you. All you said is true! I just need a good kick in the rear to get me going! I have to been to grief therapy and am also seeing a psychologist. I hope to find a way out of this.
     
  4. SinisterKid

    SinisterKid Safety & Support SF Supporter

    You will get out of it I have no doubt about it, it just takes a little time and patience. We want to recover so the urge is to rush at our problems and issues.

    You dont need a kick in the rear, you just need to set some realistic, acheiveable goals for what you want to do. I am sure that your experiences could be of great help to a lot of members here. Its very rewarding helping to support others who are also having a hard time, well I find it is anyway.

    You are always welcome here. No one will judge you or laugh at you or ridicule you, we all just try to help and support each other any way we can. Its a great community and every member is loved and valued.
     
  5. Joanieo

    Joanieo Member

    Thanks for your support!
     
  6. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Welcome to the forum. You have gone through a lot in the past but we can help to live the rest of your life. In my book, you are a survivor who needs our support in your time of need. I hope you found us very supportive and I hope you no longer consider yourself alone. Stay strong and keep posting.
     
  7. lifetalkz

    lifetalkz Well-Known Member

    Joanieo-I'm already inspired by you-you are a survivor and a hero. But even heroes run out of steam sometimes. When I am alone and struggling like you are, I get very Zen about the situation. I focus on the here and now-I don't worry about a past I can't change or a future I can't predict. I find great healing in connecting with nature-I take long walks outside, being serenaded by the sounds of the birds chirping and the swaying of the trees in the breeze. I always feel that I am one with nature, life moving inside of life. Even just sitting in a chair outside heals my heart and gives me hope. My prayer is that you feel some hope today-just a tiny spark of hope can one day light up the sky with possibilities! God bless you-LT
     
  8. Joanieo

    Joanieo Member

    I'm going to try the Zen approach and focus on the moment. Post "do not enter signs" for the past and future! Thank you.
     
  9. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Welcome to the forum @Joanieo I hope you find SF useful to you. I'm sorry for what you re going through but things can get better. Even by posting here and letting it all out helps and I wish you the very best of luck in your journey to recovery. SF is here for you 24/7 :)
     
  10. Joanieo

    Joanieo Member

    Thank you