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A_J_R

Well-Known Member
#1
I'm actually a little excited to be here. I'm glad this exists.

I'm a little hesitant to tell people my entire story... it's complicated and I haven't always been the best person. But I'll start with saying my father suffered with an intense, dark depression. I always had an inkling of it, but was mostly happy until I was about 34 when my parents died approximately 3 months apart of cancer. That was 15 years ago. Since then, it's been a bit of a struggle. I think with a lot of people losing both parents because of Covid, something has been triggered. But that's just part of it. There's more, and I'm hoping to find a place to share it.

I've been everywhere looking for some understanding. And I have to do it like this, sort of on the down-low because my husband and I are now both working from home. He knows I have depression issues, but I don't want him to know how deep they are getting, because I do think our marriage is on the rocks, and I need to work some stuff out before I make any decisions (we've been together almost 20 years). A lot of stuff gets built up inside of me, so I'm hoping this will help me release some of that.

I think about death a lot. Wish it upon myself. I am beginning to lose interest in things. I'm very tired.

So, thank you again for this forum, and I'll start looking around. Hello to everyone. Sending love.
 
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Ash600

Of dust and shadows
SF Creative
SF Supporter
#4
Hi there @A_J_R sorry that things are hard for you right now. Hope finding this place helps. We can't gaurantee we'll be able to find the solutions to ease your pain, but we're willing to hear you out and hopefully be able to offer some comfort, advice and understanding.

Feel free to talk about things as much or as little as you feel comfortable with, we're willing to lend an ear.
 
#13
I'm still pretty new here, and a Social Network Dinosaur, but I am finding my footing here.

20 years married, 10 of them together and the remaining 10 existing in the same house. In part, thus my presence here.

Don't know your situation, but mine/ours is communication. If you (plural) can/will still communicate, maybe you should let him in. It is kind of unfair to leave info out of a relationship. At least as long as there is a possibility of sharing.
 

KindaOtiose

Well-Known Member
#15
Welcome to the forums @A_J_R, we're glad to have you here. You'll always be able to find any help and support you need here.

Have you ever sought treatment for the way you are feeling? There are options like therapy or medication that might be able to help you.

Stay safe. Sending hugs *brohug.
 

A_J_R

Well-Known Member
#16
I'm still pretty new here, and a Social Network Dinosaur, but I am finding my footing here.

20 years married, 10 of them together and the remaining 10 existing in the same house. In part, thus my presence here.

Don't know your situation, but mine/ours is communication. If you (plural) can/will still communicate, maybe you should let him in. It is kind of unfair to leave info out of a relationship. At least as long as there is a possibility of sharing.
I agree with you, but I'm not sure I can do it the way I need to. I feel very private about our problems, but I hope I can share things soon.
 

A_J_R

Well-Known Member
#17
Welcome to the forums @A_J_R, we're glad to have you here. You'll always be able to find any help and support you need here.

Have you ever sought treatment for the way you are feeling? There are options like therapy or medication that might be able to help you.

Stay safe. Sending hugs *brohug.
Yes, I have been on several medications and have done years of therapy. Neither has taken really. I had adverse reactions to most of the meds I took. Therapy I do from time to time. My last therapist and I ended on semi-bad terms. So, I'm a little wary about going back. Also, they cut my hours at work and I lost my insurance, so for now... but I'm thinking about going back when I can.

Thank you!
 

Champagne

✯✯ Heart of an angel ✯✯
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#19
Hi there, I am sorry that Covid-19 is bringing up these unsettling memories for you but I'm glad you found us, we are a very supportive and thoughtful community that care for each other, day in - day out, I'm sure if you stick around you will not regret it *hug
 

JDot

remember to drink plenty of water
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#20
Hey @A_J_R I'm sorry to hear of the loss of your parents. I'm 34 right now, and I would be lost if something happened to my parents. You'll always have a place here to share your thoughts and feelings. We're here for you, and we're glad to have you here.
 
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