I think I'm developing an eating disorder. Last november I started running 5 nights a week, and I'm still doing this. I lost 20 or 25 lbs doing the running and without dieting....not really dieting, just kind of watching what I ate. I know if I stopped exercising the weight would come back; it's a metabolic issue. then I hit a wall and couldn't lose any more weight even though I was still running I started calorie counting a couple of weeks ago but haven't lost any more weiht yet. low fat diets are horrible by the way....i am a huge fan of salads but wanted to faint when i learned how many calories are in salad dressing. So now I dress them with lemon juice and they taste sour and disgusting. Still haven't lost any more weight. I no longer care about my career and school track, my boyfriend is eventually going to be scared off by this weird depression. I am not a materialistic person. But my body feels heavy and gross. But now I can't stop looking at celebrity and men's magazine websites, websites and magazines that I used to hate and say were bad for women's self esteem, to see the girls that people think are hot...they are all thin and built with thin bones, unliike me. I am a healthy weight for my height- I am within my BMI limits. But I feel fat all the time and even if I don't care what other people think I still obsess over the fat on my sides, on my thighs, what size jeans I wear (I want to be 4 but I am 8). I want to pinch myself and feel nothing but skin, I want my bones to turn to powder and blow off in the breeze.