New person struggling through life

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by april_showers, Jan 28, 2011.

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  1. april_showers

    april_showers New Member

    Hello peoples.

    My name is April and I'm new on the forums. I decided to join because I've been feeling low lately, and I don't have any friends to go to for help. I've been feeling a little nostalgic and missing the times that were better. I went through something very traumatic three years ago and its left me scarred.

    I'm mostly here because of a friend of mine. My best friend that I love dearly with all of my heart. I met him shortly after this traumatic incident and we became very very close. My friend had a high standing with people. He's social, outgoing, respectable, caring and a hard worker. But me? Well, people just don't get me. I'm antisocial, scared, eccentric, and people tell me that I'm just weird. So when my friend and I became close, his reputation quickly diminished. His family always argued with him, his finances became unstable, and he even almost lost his job, all because of what people, people who didn't even know me, thought I was weird and shouldn't be around him.

    I had been in a very bad car accident and have been almost totally dependent on my friend until now. I've gotten a new job, and I'm about to get a new car, and I'm in college working towards a Web Applications degree. But now that I'm back on track, my friend is still in trouble. He's become emotionally dependent on me. Now that he sees that I'm starting to take care of myself, he gets sad and becomes suicidal because now he believes I'm all he has. He gets upset when I go to hang out with my friends and he always talks about losing me in his life.

    I feel so guilty that it kills me. He sacrificed everything to help me get back on my feet, and now he believes he has nothing. People treat him different because he's always with that "weird girl". I feel like since I came into his life, I've ruined it. I don't feel good about myself at all, and I just want my friend to be happy again. One of the thing I used to always say to him when we first met is "I don't think I've ever seen you mad or upset. You're always smiling!" And I haven't seen him smile in months. He's always crying.

    Now I'm faced with a horrible dilemma. I cause him so much pain by being around him, so I'm starting to think I should leave him alone. But what kind of friend would I be to abandon him? All his friends left him because of me. I can't just leave him alone. I try to talk to him and ask him what he wants me to do, what he thinks would be the best option for us, to just make the pain go away, and he doesn't know.

    Sometimes I think if I died it would help him heal faster. I don't know what to do anymore for him. Am I a bad friend? Its not fair that all of the important people in his life abandoned him and rejected him because they all thought I was weird (and I live in a small hick town, so stuff like that is important) and he didn't need me to influence him.

    I'm scared for me and my friend. I'm coming to this forum for advice on my situation before the both of us fall for real. Thanks to those who will listen!

  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    How wrong for people to judge you and him they are the ones with the problem Your friend sounds like he needs some professional help Can you get him to see his regular doctor and just get on some meds to help him not be so sad. I don't think you should abandon him but you need to have friends to go out with and perhaps help him get new friends to so he can have a life of his own. He has attachment issues it seems so maybe therapy would help as well.
    Another thing you can do is get him back into doing things he use to love to do. Sports creative outlets get him doing things that use to make him smile okay.
  3. Cute_Angel_Xx

    Cute_Angel_Xx Account Closed

    Hey :welcome:; I'm so glad you found SF, it looks as though you are going through a lot NOBODY should judge you, you sound like a really good friend to him, do you know if he geets couseelling/therapy? STICK BY HIM :yay:

    Take care :welcome:
  4. kobie76

    kobie76 Well-Known Member

    Hi April, :welcome: to SF

    Sorry you're having a hard time atm :hug:
  5. _Lily_

    _Lily_ Forum Buddy

  6. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Welcome to SF, hope you find what your looking for here.
  7. Ravenwing

    Ravenwing Well-Known Member

    Welcome to SF. I'm sorry life is being so harsh to you. :hug:
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