New Perspective

[Ire]

Allright, I plan on killing myself sometime after my 19th birthday, which is in may.

So I was thinking, knowing your going to kill yourself soon gives you a whole new perspective on things.

For example, I was looking at this eyeglasses shop and thought, "I should get contact lenses". Then I realized, It's not going to matter, I can live with glasses for another two months.

And earlier I was reading gun laws about how if you are admitted to a psychiatric hospital you can't own guns in some states... and I thought how jacked up that was... then I was like, Hey! It doesn't matter!

Just kind of thought it was interesting.

 

[Ardo85]

Yea, I've had a similar effect happening to me for the past year or so. I don't have a specific time I'm planning on killing myself... maybe in the next few days, maybe in a few years from now. I find it strangely liberating and actually puts me more at ease and takes some of the edge off my depression. I don't have to worry about making any long term plans with work, school, careers, etcetera since I know it won't really matter (I'm a 23 year old college drop out living with parents). I can just dick around for weeks at a time cause I can always kill myself later or when shit hits the fan. Knowing this I think its actually delayed my eventual suicide.

 

[DeeKay]

I totally agree with both of you. I love knowing I can kill myself anytime. It makes things a little better.

 

[Christianv2]

I totally agree with both of you. I love knowing I can kill myself anytime. It makes things a little better.

Yeah, Im not suicidal as much as I used to be but the fact that you can are suicidal holds alot of power because if your suicidal, there isnt a god damn thing that anyone can make you do, its what you wanna do. You control all the power, I think thats one of the things that made me even more so in favor of it, because I could never be forced to do anything i wanted because I can just *boom* be gone and I dont have to do shit.

 

[peacegirl]

Allright, I plan on killing myself sometime after my 19th birthday, which is in may.

So I was thinking, knowing your going to kill yourself soon gives you a whole new perspective on things.

For example, I was looking at this eyeglasses shop and thought, "I should get contact lenses". Then I realized, It's not going to matter, I can live with glasses for another two months.

And earlier I was reading gun laws about how if you are admitted to a psychiatric hospital you can't own guns in some states... and I thought how jacked up that was... then I was like, Hey! It doesn't matter!

Just kind of thought it was interesting.

Ire, that is such a good sign because you are conscious of looking at your own thoughts about your demise. I think you have a lot of insight into your own thinking. Bravo to you!