Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by m20, Nov 8, 2006.
Hello everyone, I'm m20 and I'm an alcoholic... and I'm not sober in case you were wondering.
Hello, and welcome. I hope you can find the support your looking for on here.
Have you ever tried going to an AA meeting?
Hi m20. I am new here as well.
I am sober in case you were wondering. You did good just stopping in to say what you said. Now what?
Stay cool, and please come back. There seems to be some mighty nice, and knowledgable people here.
I haven't gone to an AA meeting. I've considered it, but my alcoholism isn't such a devastating problem as it is to other people. I know it's bad of course, but maybe I just perfected it because it seems to work out so well for me. I stick with hard alcohol (almost always vodka), I know my limits, I say and do stupid shit sometimes but nothing that'd get me left out of my parent's will or to lose all my friends.
I'm always planning stuff out, and I plan my drinking nights (which happen to be every night of the week) out so that I won't be too drunk if I have to drive somewhere and that I'll stop after a certain point and just drink water before I fall asleep. I never black out and I remember everything just not in the order that it happened. I'll take in quite a large amount of alcohol too. I've been known to finish liter bottles vodka in several hours and be less drunk than everyone else who are passed out drunk with their heads in the toilet. I'm not even a big guy, I'm 5'8" and 120lbs. I'll just end up not being able to talk right and tipping a little from side to side, and laughing at nothing in particular.
Then the next day I'll wake up still drunk and go to work anyway. I'll sober up during the day and start all over again at night. It's fun, it really is, but I know it's bad. People ruin their lives with alcohol but it's made mine interesting and fun. HOWEVER an alcoholic is an alcoholic, and I'm guilty as charged. It's not that I can't be doing this but I shouldn't, at least not as much as I do right now. I might sit in on an AA meeting sometime, or one of those other programs that's less preachy and more focused on solutions rather than ideological junk. Don't get me wrong, there's a time for religion and faith, but I'd rather see statistics and set goals in a realistic setting than admit my powerlessness over alcohol and all that fun AA stuff.
i hope some of the things that have happened to me wont happen to you...losing my apartment, freinds, jobs, health, respect, trust, belongings....all because of drinking...i never wanted to admit my powerlessnes over acohol.....i mean after all, me being controlled by a liquid.....never.....but in truth i was being controlled by it every time i drank
towards the end of my drinking, the last year or two, all the bad things started to happen...before that i was just like you...planning when i would drink, how much i would drink, what i would drink, remember what i did when drunk, oh ya and i planned how much i would drink upon if i were abel to get very drunk, sorta drunk, slightly drunk, or just a little tipsy on things like school and my commitments....i thought that worked for awhile but looking back i didnt control it....i may have controlled the amount and types but once i drank i couldnt control what i would say or do nor whom i may hurt by "joking".
now however, sixty one days after loosing nearly everything because of my drinking, my life is so great it feels like a dream...im with people that care about me...i have friends that the only thing they want from me is to be me...they ask if im ok...they help me....i help them....im doing outstanding in school and other aspects of my life....
and by the way i am an alcoholic and am only 21 and have been involved in AA...i was always trying to get things more in control...everything except for drinking even when i really wanted to....but until i admited to myself i was powlerless over alchol things kept getting worse....
i just hope that none of the things that have happened to me won't happen to you....good luck