New school rant & rave.

[thebiggestlie]

Okay, so I just moved from country A to country B...for whatever reason, I couldn't wait to get out of country A, even though I had a lot of friends there, people I could talk to...I think that my depression and ED are to blame for making me lose touch with them during my last year, though, so I left behind a couple of broken relationships due to neglect on my behalf.

I hate how self-absorbed I am sometimes.

Anyway, now I'm in school in country B, and I can't seem to fit in at all. I don't have the strength to act 'social' anymore, it's like I'm not even trying at all. I've been having really intense suicidal thoughts lately, and even though I don't think I'd ever actually do it because of my family, they are becoming more appealing by the day. I hadn't cut in a couple of months, but yesterday I couldn't help myself.

I had a friend who I'd met over the internet who I could tell everything to, and we've been exchanging rants & raves and encouragement to eachother for about three years now... but after he didn't write to me for months, I was tired of waiting and decided to say goodbye to him...when all I really wanted was to get him to respond to me, to see if he still cared. He didn't respond. Then yesterday I looked on his myspace and his status said : "**** is happier with her." I was broken.

Now I go on the internet and come across pictures of old friends who seem to be having the time of their lives. What's wrong with me? Sometimes it all gets too much and I just feel like I can't take it anymore.

I just feel so alone, which is ironic, because a year ago that's what I set out to be, when I started isolating myself from my friends.

Whine whine...I know...*sigh*

:[

 

[resistance]

Hey :hug: Is there any way you can contact the friends you left behind in country A? Or even go back there for a few days/a week as a vacation? It could refresh you and make you feel a little better. Can you talk to a member of your family about how you're feeling? Perhaps the stress in moving to a different country is not helping how you're feeling. Maybe in time when you get used to your surroundings you will start to feel more comfortable and blend in more. If you continue to have suicidal thoughts though, I do suggest you talk to a teacher, family relative or even a doctor. Take care of yourself.

 

[Anime-Zodiac]

It's never too late to re-kindle your friendships with people. When people see their friends & relatives having good times, it make you wonder why it's not happening to you but everyone goes for ups & downs and in time I'm sure you will settle down in time. I guess you moving places may also be contributing to how your feeling.

 

[JustWatchMeChange]

Whine whine...I know...*sigh*

Sometimes we all need to whine. If you don't I can't and I need to. Sorry about your friend. You can contact me at myspace.com/johnwiggins if you want. Things do get better, you will see.