New - seeking support

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Lost1989, Jul 26, 2015.

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  1. Lost1989

    Lost1989 New Member

    Hi everyone... This is my first time really seeking help/opinions on this. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to go about this so I'm just going to lay it all out there...

    Basically, I've been struggling with severe depression and anxiety for about 5 years now. I've been on a few different medications, they never seem to help enough to make me want to continue them. I've been off meds for just over a year now and I'm back to where I always end up.

    I'm 25, single, working a job that doesn't pay enough and trying to go to school which I no longer have funding for... My family is zero help and I literally don't have friends anymore. The only thing that has kept me here in the past is my nephews and my dog. Now I've realized my dog is better off at my moms and I'm not as close with my nephews as I used to be. I see them occasionally and I know they love me but somehow it's not enough to feel like I need to stay for them.

    I don't take the idea of suicide lightly, I know it's permanent and I don't believe in any kind of after life. I know people will be sad and think I could have made it out but really I've been trying so hard for so long that I'm starting to think I'm just delaying the inevitable.

    If someone is really as miserable as I feel, can suicide be the best option? I don't have any happiness in my days and my depression takes its physical toll as well as the obvious mental one.
    I don't know why I feel forced by social standards to live a life that I don't feel is worth living, that actually causes me pain.

    I'm just tired of fighting and I feel like you can only ask someone to fight for as long as they can. I think I'm at that point where I've exhausted all my recourses and this is what I'm always left with.

    Does anyone else feel this way?
     
  2. Shadowlands

    Shadowlands Official SF Hugger Staff Alumni

    Welcome to the site! :hugs: Why are you depressed?
     
  3. Lost1989

    Lost1989 New Member

    I guess it's just how my brain is. It's a chemical imbalance that isn't fixed by anti depressants. But honestly I don't have anything going for me to be happy about anyways so I'm sure that contributes to it.
     
  4. Shadowlands

    Shadowlands Official SF Hugger Staff Alumni

    I see. And I suppose you have seen a doctor about it? Hugs help I'm sure! :arms:
     
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