New Therapist?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by pancake111, Aug 22, 2011.

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  1. pancake111

    pancake111 Well-Known Member

    I copied and pasted this from my diary on the site, and I'm not sure whether I should keep seeing my current therapist, or see a new one?

    Today I have to see my therapist to talk about the direction of my therapy. I don't really feel like I'm improving much, which is partially my fault, I'll admit that. But sometimes I'll say something I deem to be important, but she'll never bring it up again.

    A few months ago, I said that I'm a compulsive liar, and that I feel a need to lie all the time. But since then, she hasn't brought it up again. I know I should mention it again, but I'm too scared. I get really really anxious when I have to talk about myself.

    I like her, she's not a bad person, but I feel like I need someone a little more experience. She's in her late 30s, and from what i have gathered from what she's told me, I think she's only been doing this for about 5 years or so.

    I feel like I need someone who will really push me to be more open about my feelings, and not have me direct the sessions so much. Whenever I say I have nothing to talk about, when I really do (which happens a lot), she then asks me If I want to play a game or something. I also say I don't know A LOT. But when I say I don't know, I'm really saying, I do know, but I'm just to afraid to say it.

    I'm kind of torn between seeing a new therapist, which means starting from scratch again, or keeping seeing my current therapist, and try to work out the problems.
     
  2. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    Best of luck at the appointment. :hug: I think you'll get a good idea of whether you feel like starting from scratch again once this upcoming appointment is over.

    Just a thought: Are you considering bringing up the same points you mentioned in this post with your therapist today? ([1] that she isn't bringing up what concerns you most and that [2] although you may say you don't know much and have nothing to talk about, you really do and need her to take the initiative more)
     
  3. Jenny

    Jenny Staff Alumni

    Hi

    Sorry to hear you are struggling with your current therapist.. sounds like you feel you've told her some things that are important to you but you feel she hasn't heard you or taken you seriously. I hear your worries of bringing them up again but wondered if this would be a possibility for you to do.. I'm not trying to stand up for her but i wonder if she hadn't realised how important these things were for you.. or maybe there is another reason for her not talking about these things with you... it may be worth getting her side of things? It may well be that she doesn't feel skilled enough herself.. but hopefully she would be aware enough to know her own limitations and discuss this with you.

    Although only you can decide whether or not to continue seeing her or to find another one, I do wonder if it would be worth a shot talking about how you're feeling with regards therapy with her. Even if you then decide to continue with finding another therapist, at least you'd be doing it knowing you've done all you can in the current relationship. By the way you're entitled to ask how long she's been practicing as a counsellor, etc. so don't be afraid to ask. And of course you're entitled to end with her and find someone else..

    I hope things work out for you.. making these decisions can be difficult so keep 'talking' here if it helps.

    Jenny x
     
  4. Jelly

    Jelly Well-Known Member

    Sometimes therapists don't understand the way you would like them too. Glad you are getting this new one, best of luck!
     
  5. pancake111

    pancake111 Well-Known Member

    Thanks for all the replies. I think the appointment went well. I told her that I don't feel there really isn't any direction, and that I think she needs to lead the sessions more. She did say that she has been letting me control the sessions more, and that she will ask more direct questions.

    During the session, we mostly made a plan for my social anxiety. She gave a "homework" assignment of talking to 2 people I don't know, and joining a club in school. I have to do these things over the next few months. I'm not thrilled about it, but I think I can do it.

    I don't have another appointment with her for almost a month, but I think we're headed in the right directon, and I'll keep seeing her, for now.
     
  6. Jenny

    Jenny Staff Alumni

    Glad your appointment seemed to go ok and you've made a decision about your therapy.. hope it continues to improve. Jenny
     
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