Got my leter last week, after waiting 9weeks for it, when i was told 4weeks.
Its for child abuse survivors, but in this country, they normally focus on clerical abuse survivors, and miine was in my family and then an attack by a stranger on holiday. So i dont know what they are going to offer me, or say or any of that.
Another thing is, I've never spoken about these 2 instances, and im worried as hell about how its going to effect me,
Cause, I appear tough, and can 'hold my own' but, these two things. idk. its like a failure. and i know tis not my fault, ive never fully blamed myself for these things, but its still, its wrong, and they happened to me, and i dont know what fully acceptung they happened would do to me.
I invision me becoming a child, a blubbering useless child. not able to cope with anything, and right now, any amount of stress sends me off on a rollercoaster of a mood swing and depression and suicidal thoughts, so what will happen to me if i am that defenceless blubbering mess of a child and then stress on top of me????
I'm just scared of it, and i dont want to do it, id rather ignore it. but it does bother me too.
Its for child abuse survivors, but in this country, they normally focus on clerical abuse survivors, and miine was in my family and then an attack by a stranger on holiday. So i dont know what they are going to offer me, or say or any of that.
Another thing is, I've never spoken about these 2 instances, and im worried as hell about how its going to effect me,
Cause, I appear tough, and can 'hold my own' but, these two things. idk. its like a failure. and i know tis not my fault, ive never fully blamed myself for these things, but its still, its wrong, and they happened to me, and i dont know what fully acceptung they happened would do to me.
I invision me becoming a child, a blubbering useless child. not able to cope with anything, and right now, any amount of stress sends me off on a rollercoaster of a mood swing and depression and suicidal thoughts, so what will happen to me if i am that defenceless blubbering mess of a child and then stress on top of me????
I'm just scared of it, and i dont want to do it, id rather ignore it. but it does bother me too.