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New To Forum, Not New To Pain

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by HangMyHeart, Sep 13, 2016.

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  1. HangMyHeart

    HangMyHeart Member

    I'm just leaving this here as an obligatory 'hello', since I am currently to depressed to fully type out the multitude of reasons that I'm here. But I can give you the short version - I'm a 19 year old female who has struggled with depression for 6 or 7 years now. I'm extremely lonely a lot of the time and I'm afraid to go out of the house. I dropped out of high school two and a half years ago, and now I don't even have a job or anything to fill my days. I have no friends and my family are all estranged, aside from my parents who I live with. Unfortunately I can find no help in them either, since their almost always drunk. Their relationship is also in shambles. I am turning 20 this November and I have absolutely nothing to show for it. I'm starting to run out of time. There isn't anything right now I want to live for, I have given up on anything good happening for me. I need somebody to talk to other than the walls. Thank you.
  2. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Welcome to the forum. Are you seeing a professional? Have you considered volunteering or something to encourage you to leave the house?
  3. HangMyHeart

    HangMyHeart Member

    I am not seeing a professional. I don't trust them. I was put in inpatient against my will by one of these "professionals" once. That only taught me that I can't be honest with them about how I feel, or else I'll get locked up. Apart from that incident, the professionals I've seen have not been of any help.

    I'd volunteer somewhere but I am literally too scared to go out. I just can't do it anymore unless I have somebody with me, and there's no one to go with me anywhere.
  4. Shadowlands

    Shadowlands Official SF Hugger Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Welcome to SF HangMyHeart. (hugs)
  5. HangMyHeart

    HangMyHeart Member

    Thank you, Shadowlands. (hugs)
  6. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Welcome to the forum, HangMyHeart. We understand you pain but please be safe.
  7. HangMyHeart

    HangMyHeart Member

    Thank you so much! I'm as safe as I can be right now.
  8. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Professionals want to help you. What about trying another one?

    Are there any community services that could help you?
  9. HangMyHeart

    HangMyHeart Member

    I'm not sure how to get one. Up 'til now my parents always helped me with that kind of thing. Now they won't. Plus the nearest clinic is at the edge of town and I don't have a way to get there on my own. As for community services, I don't even know how to begin looking into that.
  10. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Just start by googling for mental health resources in your city.
  11. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support SF Artist SF Supporter

    Hey Hangingmyheart and welcome to SF, I'm sure you'll like it here and know that you are no longer alone. Many of us here are dealing with similar feelings. I have anxiety, depression and panic attacks. I was at the point too of being afraid to leave the house. This forum is a lifesaver, the people here are caring and supportive and helped me more than they will ever know. So hang in there and get to know us, I'm sure you'll meet many friends here you can relate to.
  12. JmpMster

    JmpMster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Dial 211 from any phone in the US - it will connect you with the United Way helpline in your area and they can help you find any services that oyu need. In your case you need to find mental health (probably thta first since being too scared to leave the house means you cannot get anything else going until you deal with that issue) and adult education services in your area so that you can get some help/training to get a job which will open up all the doors that got closed when you quit school. The important thing to remember is adult ed and those services exist because it is NOT too late for you at all- in fact at 20 you are not even behind the curve yet.

    Professional services will not hurt you in the long run- while you did not "like" being sectioned, the lack of continuing services at your choice has resulted in you STILL being locked up years later- only in your own home and with people that do not care/are not helping instead of with counselors and social workers to help the situation get better..... If you are not happy with the way your life is going then you can in fact change it- but you will have to change what you have been doing for the last 2-3 years to allow your life to change- what you have done resulted in this- so please do not resist making changes if you are not happy with the way things are going now....
    HangMyHeart likes this.
  13. Frances M

    Frances M Mountain Woman

    Hi HangMyHeart :)

    I feel that way sometimes, not like you, but there are days when the thought of leaving my home/yard are just not possible. I do not like the world around me, the human world that is. I'm striving to move to the woods and be a hermit in fact. I know someone who went through something similar. He has severe depression as a teenager and dropped out of high school as well. He was also forcibly hospitalized by his parents on a few occasions when they didn't want to deal with him, his sisters also had the same thing happen to them. He also didn't trust doctors for many years out of fear of being hospitalized again. It's tough to trust again, I'm sorry you are going through this.
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