New to self harming.

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by HappyCamper, Jan 6, 2008.

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  1. HappyCamper

    HappyCamper Member

    It all started about 2 weeks ago when I broke my chair(silly yes). I sat down and one of the wheels broke loose which ended in me falling to the ground. I wanted to stand up but couldnt, i was overwhelmed with anger. Anger at myself for being so pathetic. When I finally stood up I saw a piece of plastic with a pointy edge from the broken chair at the ground, I picked it up and started slashing at my wrist because I wanted to punish myself. The edge wasnt very sharp so it hurt like hell but I couldnt stop. The more pain i felt the more i wanted to cut myself. I finally stopped when i started bleeding, I went to the kitchen to clean the wound and while i was cleaning the wound i could feel my hand going warm and numb. I can't really describe the feeling but i liked it. After I cleaned myself the only thing i could think about was cutting myself again. From that moment not a single day has gone by, which didnt involve self harming.

    The problem is though, sooner or later my parents are going to find out and i have no idea what im going to say to them. I try not to think about it, right now im glad its winter and i have an excuse for wearing a hoodie in the house.
     
  2. magz74

    magz74 Well-Known Member

    i am 33 years old and i have been si for 19 years i still havent told a sole.not even my family.i no how u feel wen u say u enjoyed the pain.just be careful bcus it is a addiction. and may lead u to otha things
     
  3. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    If you guys truly like feeling pain, then I'm sure there are other things that you could try. Maybe punching yourself? At least that wouldn't leave scars.
     
  4. Malcontent

    Malcontent Staff Alumni

    Hi Dave, it's not so much about liking pain but more about coping with emotions. There are loads of different reasons why people self harm, some common ones are punishment, to feel numb, to stop feeling numb, to express/validate emotional pain, to get some control. Cutting isn't the only way people self harm, though it is the most noticeable, a lot of people punch, burn, etc and they're just as serious. A good site to check out would be www.selfharm.net if you want to know more about self harm.

    Take care
     
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