So. Really don't trust many people, but I figure since I'll never see you guys: I'm Meredith. Everyone calls me Emmy, because when would spell my name, people thought I was saying Emmy Ariditeh. Weird, stupid. But it fits well. I have been depressed for I don't know how long, it seems like forever. I was always the quiet one. I was know for sitting in the back, keeping my head down. I still do that, but now I trace my fingers over my cuts. I was nice, smiles, gumdrops, all that 'perfect daughter' business. I would be the one to turn to if you had a problem because I was able to keep secrets. I was able to listen without judging. But eventually that dissolved into being the laughing stock, of being picked on, of being the target of vicious rumors. Apparently, I sleep with anyone, regardless of age and gender. I, apparently, force myself onto guys who aren't interested because I am so desperate. I am a cutter, I am depressed, and I am 100% not acting like myself. I act like nothing phases me, I stand as hard as a rock while the world flows by. In the sea of life, I really am a rock, a rock that is plummeting down to the sea floor. The black water churns with derogatory slurs, beer, and blood. I just sit and wallow in it, unable to get away. I am embedde into the sea floor, and no amount of straining can unearth me, buried six feet under. Maybe I'll drown?