new to the forum, here for the same reason as everyone else

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Sophie54, Feb 24, 2014.

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  1. Sophie54

    Sophie54 New Member

    I'm here because I need to be able to say things I can't say to anyone in my life. I feel my life is over and it is just a matter of time until I figure out how to end it. I have probably been this miserable in the past, but this time I am older and alone. I don't see how my life will improve or how my mood will either. If I had a difficult life and was not depressed, or was depressed with a good life (like in the past), it would be tolerable. However, I don't see either one changing. Both my circumstances and my mood disorder are tough and they have been for a couple of years, with no end in sight. I know that everyone says depression is "treatable" and therefore we shouldn't kill ourselves - but what about when you have tried every time of medication and they all have stopped working since 2010? I have made myself keep going for the sake of my children, but I think I deserve a break now. Many people feel it is reasonable to allow terminally ill people to choose when to die. I feel that I am terminally ill with depression and my life is only going to get worse. And, yes, I have had years of therapy, which was a comfort but did not make me feel better for more than the time of the session. In fact I am a therapist myself and apparently have helped other people (or so they tell me). They all think I'm so compassionate and nonjudgmental, which is only because I've been there myself. I'm glad to have a place to say all this. I'm worried that the moderator will not approve (as a new member I'm subject to that)...
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I am glad you found us here and hope that having a place to vent makes things easier for you. So far as posts being approved, so long as they meet the minimal guidelines we have you will not have any problem with posts being edited or deleted.

    I am not sure what your life situation is so cannot give an opinion if it is impossible to get better, but will say that hopelessness is a pretty standard symptom of depression and it seldom has any basis in reality, it is just a feeling or emotion like any other, and our having emotions and feelings does not make us able to see the future accurately. keep talking to us and hopefully you can get some insights on how others deal with these thoughts as well as share some of your own.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    It is so hard to help ourselves isnt it you have a purpose in life you care for others that is a good thing.

    Depression hard one to beat sometimes but with new meds coming out to treat hard to treat depression there is still hope.

    You continue with therapy ok you deserve that and you continue to talk to your doctors abt these new meds and treatments

    Have you tried all the treatments out there not just meds Your children will always need you hun and you know if you leave you are setting them up for the same sadness you are feeling now i understand i do i am in the same boat wanting so badly to leave but cannot.
    I am glad you are talking here releasing some of the thoughts the sadness by writing it does help some You are not alone now hugs
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