new to the forum

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by KatyKate, Sep 24, 2010.

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  1. KatyKate

    KatyKate Antiquities Friend

    Hi i'm new to the forum and wanted to introduce myself to the rest of you on here. I have never entered onto such a forum but feel the time is right due to the strength of my feelings at this current time. It saddens me greatly that I feel the way I do, but I can't shake it. Having seen the recent news of the two complete strangers who met and <Mod Edit, WildCherry: Methods>, i know that where there is a definate will to end your life someone will always find a way.
    Many people in society regard suicide as a selfish act, as it is the ones who are left behind that suffer, but I do not think these people who make such judgements fully appreciate how much distress the person (S) who commit suicide must be in. I fight constantly with my feelings on a daily basis, and the only reason most days that I stay is because of my family and friends, and what my actions would do to them, but the pain I feel throughout each day can become unbearable, and I see no other way out. Is it fair for me to live a life constantly feeling that I do not want to be here, and every day the pain eats further and further into my soul, and destroys the person that I once was bit by bit.
    I feel ashamed sometimes, but will admit that when I hear of people dying by whatever means I always think they are the lucky ones, and wish it was me. the only time respite comes is when I go to sleep, but even in sleep I'm now haunted by people I don't want to be there.
     
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi Jane and so glad you decided to share with us...you sound like you are in such pain...have you spoken to a professional about how you are doing? there are many medications and treatment approaches that can help you express your pain and work on ways to reduce it...unfortunately, mental concerns are viewed with shame...were it a cardiac condition, would a person hesitate to be treated? I think not! Please continue to let us know how you are doing as there are many ppl here who do care. Big hugs and welcome again, J
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I understand you pain i do because i often feel it is too much and want out but can't i won't transfer this pain to someone else i won't I think if one gets help professional help the pain we hold is lessened some we learn how to cope differently with this pain and we learn that new meds and new different treatments can help us stay here longer so we don't have to make other suffer the pain we have. selfish i don't know really about this word i just know i will never ever give this kind of pain to anyone i just don't have that kind of cruelty in me to do that. If i have to endure the pain so be it. i never want my family to feel this it is just to hard. I hope you find support meds therapy a friend anything to lessen that pain of yours i do because i know how sad and deep it can get reach out okay get the help you deserve take care
     
  4. stig

    stig Well-Known Member

    Hi jane, I understand your pain. I have suffered with the same pain for 30 years. I have tried suicide 6 times, I have looked into my mothers crying eyes whilst sectioned in a mental hospital and told her that i wanted to die. I really do understand. suicide is a way to end your pain, but it is also a way to destroy family and friends. I don't say this to try and blackmail you into staying alive, i would never want to do that. I say it to you so that will see family and friends as a reason to keep fighting his crap illness. it is hard to keep fighting, i really struggle with it some days. suicide is an end, not just to the pain. it is an end to the good times too, no more laughing, joking, smiling. please try and fight this affliction, it can be controlled, it can be lived with. I know it doesn't feel like it at the moment but give it time hun. pm me if you want to talk. use this site to offload. use it like a resource. there are a lot of people here who understand your pain and will be able to offer advice. stay strong, stay safe.
     
  5. boo

    boo Well-Known Member

    Keep reaching out Jane. Eventually and hopefully you will find some comfort and wisdom you could use. And welcome to SF :)
     
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