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new to this place

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by johnsgonewild, Dec 4, 2008.

  1. johnsgonewild

    johnsgonewild New Member

    hello, this will be my first time here. 8 months ago I had the perfect life. lots of money, nice house, but that's all just materialistic crap the most important aspect of my life was a girl that I loved more than life itself. in 7 years we never fought, argued or disagreed. we liked all the same stuff...music, movies, activities. well I guess people fall in love all the time, well I guess she fell out of love with me and after all that time it took her one month to lie, CHEAT, and completely destroy my life. it has been 8 months since this happened and everyday I want to die a lil bit more. i'm so alone. I don't even have any friends anymore, I cut them all loose when I realized that they were not the kind of people I should be friends with (drugs, lyeing, stealing) just bad people. now I am no angel and have done lots of bad things in my life which I am not proud of, but i'm 29 now and realized about a year ago that I need to walk a different path. the bad part is that I know that in a million years I could never find someone as beautiful or compatible as her. I've looked for the last couple of months and only seem to find the wrong thing.

    honestly the only reason i'm still around is because I could not put that kind of pain on my family. they love me very much and are all I have. I can't do that to them.
  2. Oceans

    Oceans Well-Known Member

    welcome to SF

    Breaking up is a difficult process when things were going so well and then all of a sudden, your world falls apart. I'm sorry you are a bad place at the moment but i'm glad you have realise the path you are travelling is not where you want to go. Acknowledge is the key step in changing your life course.

    It sounds you are a loving person to think of the pain you may cause if you were to leave.
  3. snowraven

    snowraven Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the forum. Hope you find the support and help you need. Always here to chat if you want. I understand your pain. Pm me if you want. Best wishes.
  4. johnsgonewild

    johnsgonewild New Member

    honestly I don't even care about her anymore. i'm just so lonely. every girl I meet now has 37 kids or is hooked on crack or some other bad stuff. its just every single day I wake up alone I just stare at the ceiling and wish I was dead!
  5. Alexpt2

    Alexpt2 Well-Known Member

    I know the feeling dude. I know it well actually. At least you've only been feeling this way for 8 months. I've been feeling it for years now. Also, it sounds as though you're still trying at least and havent completely lost hope, which is a good thing. Alot more than I can say for myself. I gave up on life a long time ago. When all hope for the future is gone, death is right around the corner.