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#1
I'm new to this site and forums in general... I have been feeling overwhelmingly sad today. I have a history of suicide attempts and stayed in a psych hospital with my most recent one. I have an 11 year history of cutting. I recently left my husband after he beat the crap out of me.. So now I am left alone with 2 young children in a world that makes no sense. I was recently diagnosed as bipolar and ADHD. I can't stay focused and all I think about is cutting and suicide. I know I don't want to die but I can't get the thoughts out of my head. Even when I'm in a good mood I think about it. I am at wits end and fear that I may do something more extreme than usual. I can't seek medical help because with just getting into a house I can not afford the time off work. I know I need help but am afraid to seek it.. If anyone has any suggestions they would be greatly appreciated...
 

Kaos General

Well-Known Member
#2
welcome :stars:

Sorry to hear your feeling like crap but at least your in the right place. Why are you sad today for?? Whats happened?? How long have you been Bi-polar for?? Ive had it for the past 10 years so i have an idea of what its like :)

As for the cutting and general thoughts of suicide try and do something that you enjoy, and rinse it for all its worth cause its better than the alternative...

Dont be afraid to seek help, at the end of the day thats what they are paid for (Dr, psych). I suppose it is quite daunting to go and ask for help at first but just bear in mind, psychiatrist aren't going to section you except in extreme circumstances asd it sounds like thats what your worried about seeing another one.

PM me if you ever wanna chat
 

itmahanh

Senior Member & Antiquities Friend
#3
Me too, bipolar. And I'm a single mom with 2 of the kids with me full time and the other 2 part time. I am a cutter. I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks as well. Doesnt make the mom thing all that easy to do. And the thoughts yep all the time.

I found this site 2 years ago, and I'm still here. It is very difficult with a mom's schedule to find time for ourselves. But you really need to. If going to hospital is out of the question and getting time off work for pdoc or therapist appointments isnt an option then maybe consider a support group? Most do have evening sessions. Not the perfect solution but it does give you a chance to be with others that are going through the same things as you emotionally. You find so many resources that you dont know exist. And you make a few friends that really understand you. Depending on how they schedule the meets, you might be able to go once a month. Not that big of a commitment when you consider just how much is at risk. And a chance for you to get out once in a while and really do something just for you!
And inbetween meets you have here. A place to come and talk about the suicidal thoughts and urges when they hit. The members here understand so they can really offer great advice, support and care when you feel like you're all alone.
I'm glad you found SF. It really can make a world of difference when you feel like your own world is falling apart. Drop a line if you ever need to talk.
 

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
#4
Hi glad your here keep posting okay so we can help. I hope you know your not alone now Lots of supportive people here to talkwith. I hope you have a good doctor to help you throught all this. It does help to be able to just talk and release the confusion and pain. Take care.
 

morning rush

Well-Known Member
#5
:hug: welcome to the forum. This is a great place to talk with others, and express how we feel. There are many that feel the same way and you get supportive and sympathetic comments...people here are really great...

sending you lots of love :hug:
 

Chargette

Well-Known Member
#6
Coming here will help you a lot. The nice thing about this is you can come here on your time. I get good insights about myself when I read the posts of others. You may want to write a diary here. It can be public or private. You may want to read some of the public ones before you decide.

Welcome! :hug:
 
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