I'm new to this site and forums in general... I have been feeling overwhelmingly sad today. I have a history of suicide attempts and stayed in a psych hospital with my most recent one. I have an 11 year history of cutting. I recently left my husband after he beat the crap out of me.. So now I am left alone with 2 young children in a world that makes no sense. I was recently diagnosed as bipolar and ADHD. I can't stay focused and all I think about is cutting and suicide. I know I don't want to die but I can't get the thoughts out of my head. Even when I'm in a good mood I think about it. I am at wits end and fear that I may do something more extreme than usual. I can't seek medical help because with just getting into a house I can not afford the time off work. I know I need help but am afraid to seek it.. If anyone has any suggestions they would be greatly appreciated...