I just created an account. Maybe for support, maybe for somebody to understand. I'm not entirely sure. I have a significant history with attempts and SI. People look at me and say how can someone so successful and smart be so miserable? They just don't believe that I am suffering despite 20 hospitalizations. They think I want attention. I'm lost. I feel completely done trying. I've been in therapy for 5 years, and I feel worse than when I started. So that's enough said.