While i've always been a bit of a binge eater, I've never really considered myself to "self harm" in any real way, I tried cutting myself a couple of times, to see if it would help but it didn't. Last night the penny kinda dropped on a few things, I really, really hurt someone I loved when I attempted the other night, she called me a bastard, and she was right. I hate myself so much right now, I just knew i needed to be punished, <mod edit: bunny - method> beat myself with it over and over and over again, leaving huge welts across my back, I nearly cried from the pain, but it felt better to know I was suffering. And now I want to do it again, I want to die it harder, see if I can do it enough to break the skin, if i can then I want to <mod edit: bunny - method>. The other thing I've thought about is burning myself <mod edit: bunny - method> I guess this might seem a little tame to some of you guys, eh I don't even know why I'm posting this, I don't need to be told it's a bad idea, and I'm not after advice, or to try and show off in any way. I guess maybe I just wanted to get it out, make it real, I may be about to add yet another big problem to my long list.