Well, I'm not really sure how to start this so I guess I'll introduce myself. My name is Chelsea and I'm a normal teenage girl for the most part. I go out with my girlfriends and have a love hate relationship with boys, but I'm really awful at managing my feelings sometimes. Part of me thinks it all reflects back on my parents and their messy divorce when I was young, but I couldn't tell you for sure. When I hit middle school my parents started a tug of war of sorts to try to seem like the better parent. My mom told me what an awful parent my dad was and vice versa. Eventually I just felt like a tool and did my best to avoid them. My 8th grade year I attempted, but obviously it didn't work and I tried my best to not let it get that far again. After that I reconciled with my father and formed a really close relationship with him, and he became my confidant. I never had to tell him I felt suicidal sometimes, he was just impossible to be unhappy around. Unfortunately as my relationship with my father blossomed, my mother and I grew farther apart than we already were. She married one of those guys who drinks a lot and is always outspoken (and not in a good way) and a few years after their marriage he started verbally abusing my little brother, who I bonded with after the divorce more than anyone. I was free of suicidal thoughts for almost 4 years, but this past year has been difficult beyond belief for me. One of my close friends passed away the day before Homecoming, my mom and I fight constantly because my brother and I want to move in with our dad and nobody is willing to let me rant to them about how I feel because the thought of me even thinking about suicide is too much for them. I thought for the longest time that I would be okay, but lately it's been the most difficult thing in the world to fight off the temptation. I don't want to, but when I get angry or sad or stressed, everything else I bottled up comes pouring out and I feel myself losing control. Above all, I need a consistent place to feel like I can be open when the need arises and so I finally broke down and looked up this place. So, that's my lengthy introduction. Hopefully you won't have to see me on here ranting too often, but I'll be around and I'm always available to help where I can.