Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by fairydust2, Jan 15, 2011.

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  1. fairydust2

    fairydust2 New Member

    hi everyone, hope your all as well as can be.
    ive just signed up as i feel like i need some support from people who truely understand.
    i started cutting about a year ago, the previous year i got ill and still am ill to this day. the cutting came from me feeling out of control and frustrated, all my friends left me as i wasnt managing to go out and was very rarely up for visits. i did however manage to keep my boyfriend who stayed with me at that point. after 6months of being ill i landed in hospital, from there i agreed to go back and live with my mum so she could help me get better. it was difficult not living with bf and he wasnt allowed to stay over at all, which was hard but really we didnt mind.
    all went downhill now, was in florida for xmas and new year, luckily the weather was quite cold so i got away with covering my arms most of the time. came home and my mum phoned my bf giving him abuse saying hes the one that made me ill and all the rest of it. its 100% not true but she wont listen to me. anyway shes now completely banned me from seeing or talking to him (i do still speak to him though) weve been together for 4 years, and im 21 so not a kid, yet im expected just to walk away when its not what me or my bf want. im not well enough to move back out but bf says he will wait for when either mum calms down or i can move out. ive been feeling suicidal which is a new and scary experience and i cant stop cutting myself. at night i just get carried away and there been a couple of nights ive overdosed on xxx and woke up the next day covered in cuts with no memory of doing it.
    im scared :sigh:
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 16, 2011
  2. Cute_Angel_Xx

    Cute_Angel_Xx Account Closed

    Hey Fairy, welcome glad you are reaching out to people on here Self harming is a very common thing to do. When ever you feel like self harming have you thought about speaking to someone when you feel like hurting yourself could you write to your mum about what she is causeing you? Try and keep yourself busy. Were here for you :hug:
  3. fairydust2

    fairydust2 New Member

    thank you for your reply cuteangel. ive been in touch with the samaritans but thats not helping. i dont want my mum to see whats going on as it will all just be put down as attention seeking i think. im bad for bottling everything up then taking it all out on myself when i feel like exploding. i wish i never started cutting, it feels like stopping is impossible. my only way of letting out steam.
    as for the bf, i think im going to let him go but stay friends. hes far too good to be putting up with everything thats going on. i want to see him leading a normal happy life.
  4. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    Ok, you're not well enough to live on your own, but do you think your mum is actually helping the situation. If she has no understanding of it then her belittleing comments really can't be helping you. If your BF has stuck by you through all of this and you do really love him then perhaps suggest a break for a while until you are strong enough again.

    Have you had any therapy or spoke to anyone about the SH. Do you know what the underlying problems may be?

    Maybe try going for some counselling or something, it may work?

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