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Hi everyone,

I've had pretty severe depression ever since I was 12 years old and attempted to kill myself for the first time at age 15. I tried again at age 19 and ended up in a mental hospital for a few days. Now at 23, I'm starting to feel that urge again.

I'm in a very bad situation right now. I may become homeless sooner or later.

I'm just not sure what to do anymore.


Staff Alumni
Hi Manic and welcome...glad you found us...you say that soon you will be homeless...what has gotten you to this place and are there any services you can access? If you live in the US, please contact me as I am familiar with entitlements here (clueless about services accross the pond!)...big hugs, J


Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend
Welcome to the forums!! Why is everything falling apart?? You should check into shelters in your area before you get put out on the street..If you loose your internet access go to the library.. They usually have computers you can use.. Please stay in touch and let us no how you are..Have you gone to Social Services about getting help to pay your rent??
Well the problem is that I can't stand either of my parents. My mom lives in South Carolina and I was living with her for a while, because I had to drop out of college because she lied to me about paying my tuition. She told me she was going to send me to Alaska to visit my dad for Christmas and I thought I would just be here to visit for a couple weeks or so. But I'm still here and it's March. I've called her many times crying, because I wanted to come back, but she refuses.

The reason why I want to leave so badly is because I never liked my dad, so being around him makes me EXTREMELY uncomfortable. Growing up he was very abusive physically, emotionally and verbally. He's not the same but I'm still terrified of him. I don't trust him, I don't try to criticize his bad behavior, because I saw what happened to my mother when she did the same. He smokes pot all the time, he invites his 20 year old friend (he's 58) over to drink with him until he throws up all over the bathroom and he gives her money (he's a fool if he thinks the girl likes him for his friendship). He's a misogynist, he seems to think I'm only here to take care of him and cook for him everyday. He also seems to think everything I own is also his. And he one thing that really disturbed me was when he told me he googled me one day. That is absolutely creepy to me.

Not only that, but there is nothing for me up here in Alaska. All my old friends have moved away. My only family here is my dad. As compared to South Carolina, I have tons of family, I'm never alone. And if I miss my friends from college I can get on the train to Philadelphia. Why my mother is trying to separate me from all of that I just don't understand.

The last time I asked my mom if I could leave, her response was "What now?" So I'm not talking to her anymore.

If I had it my way, I'd just leave Alaska without my parents knowing and live on the streets of Philadelphia, because that was the only place I ever called home.
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