Hi, I guess I joined this site because I needed some companionship. I've been alone for so long. Yesterday my parents found out I've been planning or attempting suicide. I've always backed out at the last minute. Climbed out xxx and cried and begged the universe to send someone to help me. I guess I don't want to go all the way through with it if there is some chance that someone does love me and that I could be happy. My boyfriend hasn't really spoken to me in days--we just got back from a month long trip in Europe and he's reconnecting with everyone he's missed. I just don't understand how you can spend a month with someone and then act like they don't exist. But I told him that I tried yesterday to do it again yesterday, and he didn't really care. He just continued on with his day as if nothing had happened. Meanwhile I can't stop crying and I'm shaking and I hate everything. I feel so worthless. So useless. I just want everything to stop. I came home from this trip and no one noticed. Just like no one noticed I'd left. Aside from my family being a little curious as to why i didn't show up for dinner, I could die and no one would ever know. Last night I didn't want to go home after work because I didn't want to talk about it. I drove around for awhile, slept in parking lots and just waited. Hoping that maybe someone would come looking for me. Someone would worry. No one did. What do I do? Suicide really feels like the only answer. The pain is just too much. I texted my boyfriend the whole time. Reaching out, like all the websites said to do. He's only offered one word answers that basically say-- "I can't help you, I'm sorry you want to die" What am I supposed to do?