Discussion in 'Welcome' started by leabell, Jan 21, 2012.

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  1. leabell

    leabell New Member

    I've been depressed up and down for years now, and I feel like its only gotten worse since I hit my 20s. I feel like my personality is so affected that I am losing all my friends and I'm not lovable or someone anyone wants to be around anymore. I just have this all-consuming wish that I was dead. I also feel even worse because I am not actually able to go through with it, like I'm a coward because I can't even do that. I've cut myself, choked myself, and taken pills but its never enough to actually do the job.

    I've had professional help, too. and it doesn't seem to do any good. I realize that the medication just makes me feel nothing. Therapists make me do dumb exercises that I know are supposed to help but I don't feel like they actually do anything. I don't want to involve my friends or family anymore than I already have. That's why I came here. I feel like a burden that nobody wants to bear or put up with. I just get so fed up with the process of seeking help. The official people just make money off you and put you on drugs and my support network just wants me to get over it already. Hence, nothing's changed. I'm still suicidal and I just want to die.

    If anyone can give me any insights on how they deal with these kind of feels, please enlighten me. I'm open to suggetions from someone who actually knows and can empathize with what i'm going through.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi hun coming here is a good start You get to talk to people who have or are where you are at. People that understand and won't judge or tell you to go away. I find posting my emotions in a diary helps or jsut writing or venting what i am feeling in forums here helps to. If you like chatting the chat room great place to make friends You will so you are not so alone anymore hugs
  3. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Sorry that you are going through these feelings, it can be really tough to deal with. You are lovable and people do want to be around you, now you just need to find the people who will accept you for who you are. Sometimes therapy doesn't help and that's ok--professionals can't always help, but you can be happy again. All of us are going through the same things that you are, so we are here to support and help you. Sometimes just reaching out to someone can help a lot.
  4. Tmacster1

    Tmacster1 Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry that you've been going through these feelings :( and I welcome you to the forum. People on this forum are nice and willing to listen to you. Your not alone there's many others on here that are experiencing the same if not similar problems relating to yours. It shows a lot that you came here and are reaching out for some emotional support. I hope you continue to share your feelings, emotions, and thoughts with us. Were not judgmental here and we will always listen to you. :hug:

    People around here are supportive and will care for you. I agree sometimes professional help doesn't always help and that's understandable. I hope these feelings will get better soon for you. :hug:

  5. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    hello leabell. the name of this website is suicide forum.. we get waht you are trying to say here.. just about all of us get it too well.. you started talkiong to us here and please do not stop the talking.. maybe some different professional psych help would help you more.. also some different meds.. took me and my pdoc awhile but we did find the right ones which did not make me feel comatose at same time... maybe you can do the same for yuourself.. along with some good help for yourself..

    if you can avoid just fading away on here now.. would like to hear some more from you just so we can know you still breathing and kicking out there.. take care, Jim
  6. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Welcome to the forums.,.I can well understand where your at.. I have suicidal feelings a couple times a year..I've been there since November,,This forum keeps me going.My friends here raly around me when I am in need..So don't fear you will make friends here,,
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