Newbie feeling down.........

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by chb1982, Jan 13, 2009.

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  1. chb1982

    chb1982 New Member

    Hi,

    I actually joined this site in June last year because I took an overdose and it was all so quick that I was very confused at how I'd bcome so depressed. I haven't posted before as I didnt really know what to write.

    I'd always had my down days but I never really felt suicidal until one day I felt so down that I just went and took an overdose, it was all so quick I didnt really think about it.

    My parents were really worried so I spoke to a counsellor......... but she ended up making me feel worse so I didnt go back after the first session.

    I am now on and off....... I have actually felt fine for the past few months.

    But its all hit me again....... I feel like I have been crying for a week straight.

    I cant seem to get rid of this feeling inside........ so empty and alone........ feels like I have no one to talk to.

    After what happened and how much I upset everyone before I dont want to tell them how I am feeling now because I dont want to hurt them again.

    Thanks for listening....... needed to get it out.

    chb x
     
  2. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    feel free to keep writing.
    most of us here have felt very similar i'm sure.
    :hug: you may have been to hastey with the counsilor, most of them do work but, then again there are the ones that dont.

    :hug: for you hun, welcome back i suppose, hopefully we can help you through this.

    i myself have 'relapsed' maybe 5/6 times.
     
  3. chb1982

    chb1982 New Member

    Thanks for the reply.............

    I have been reading some of the other posts and noticed how supportive everyone is to each other. Thats why I decided to post something.

    I just feel like none of my family and friends will understand and I dont want to come across like I'm looking for attention because it is quite the opposite.

    When I took the overdose last year I think it was because I was keeping all my worries and depression inside until one day I just erupted..........

    And now when I get down I get worried because thoughts of suicide creep in and I get really scared that I will do it again......... I really really dont want to but sometimes it just feels like the only way out. :sad:

    chb x
     
  4. the fleet asleep

    the fleet asleep Well-Known Member

    im sure itd hurt them much more if you bottled it up for too long, and attempted again. if you feel you need help, dont ever be afraid to ask for it. if that hurts others, then theyll just have to accept that as part of your healing.

    as long as youre here, youre not alone. as long as your family is near, youre not alone. if your family got so upset, then its clear they would rather you continue to exist, and im sure they want you to pull through this. suicide can be a scary prospect for those around you, and you cant expect them to be too understanding about something thats so scary. regardless, you have to do whats right for you. the pain you may cause by bringing it up would be dwarfed by the pain you may cause if you took your own life.

    if youre feeling on the edge, talk about it. it can help sooooooo much. stay safe :)
     
  5. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    what he said^^^ :smile:

    ah we're an alright bunch, we have our moments i think.

    and as was previously said, keeping it bottled up is one of the worst things to do. i know in 90% of cases, families would rather endure the pain of knowing a loved one is going through this, than the pain of loosing said person.

    but yes there is the possibility that you may feel like they think your looking for attention. thats why i barely talk about me and how bad i really am, but you do need to speak out. if your family can support you (which it sounds like they can) let them, they are there to support and carry you while you dont have the strength :hug:
     
  6. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey chb,
    I agree you may have been to hasty to give up on therapy. If you didn't like the one you saw then see another one. It took me three before I found Gina. I like her because she doesn't pull any punches, she is very straight forward and doesn't allow pity parties.
    I have been seeing her for three years and she has helped quite a bit. Sure I backslide everynow and then, this last one a week ago scared the hell out of me because I slid all the way back to how I use to be. I haven't seen her yet because I cancelled my appts. for this month thinking I would be in the hospital but I couldn't go.
    I know next month when I go back she will build me back up again so I hang on to that thought. Give therapy another shot and understand it takes time for you to build a bond with them. They need to know everything so they can put together a treatment plan. Take Care!!~Joseph~
     
  7. oxygenidia

    oxygenidia Well-Known Member

    I can relate to the feeling. Empty and lonely, been feeling that way for years but don't want to bother my poor mother about it any longer. Feels like she has worried enough for her.

    Just remember you are not alone at all. There are so many people who feel the same way and are here for support. :hug:
    I know that every time someone I knew even slightly kill themselves , even if it was only someone I knew over the internet, it makes me even sadder. So just remember that there are people who cares about you and want you to be here, even if we don't know you personally.

    PM if you need to talk
     
  8. chb1982

    chb1982 New Member

    I just wanted to thank you for your replies.

    I have now been talking to a close friend about how I've been feeling and it has helped so much.

    I also find that if I keep myself busy it stops the depressing thoughts creeping in.

    I also feel better knowing I have this site to come to for support. Its been a great help.

    Chb1982 x
     
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