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newbie in Pa

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by SamAndThe, Aug 7, 2009.

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  1. SamAndThe

    SamAndThe New Member

    Hi, my name is Samantha, I'm likely to make grammer an spelling errors, so sorry in advanced.

    I live in north east of Pennsylvania, I'm 24, married, an just am so tired of being so depressed, I've had numerous councilers an therapist, been on various anti depressants an other stuff, nothing has worked for me, I just want to be content, but I've never even known that.

    I'm a very scared person, I hate to even pay the cashiers at stores, I usually give my husband my stuff an money an ask him to do it, I've always been this way aslong as I can remember at 4 years old I remember thinking i should just jump infront of a truck.

    my familys never understood my depression, "it's all in your head" "your sad cause you want to be" I don't know much more i can take, I don't work anymore, an all i think is, why won't i just die, why am i even here? I've been committed twice, an i thought i might have a chance the first time i got out, but i was wrong, there are so many things i wish i could talk about but i am making little sense as it is.

    the point is, i've been depressed my whole life, i'm not sure i've ever been happy, or content even, and i am seriously not sure how much more i can take, i physically hurt so much from this depression anymore, i don't feel like i can be helped, i no friends i can talk to, i'm so lost, an i dont know if i ruined my husbands life or not
  2. Toki Wartooth Lover

    Toki Wartooth Lover Well-Known Member

    Don't worry, a lot of people on here make grammar and spelling errors.

    *tackle hug*

    Welcome to SF! I hope you find everything you need here.

    If you need someone to talk to/vent on/just need a friend, feel free to PM me!
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hello Samantha, welcome to the forums,

    I look forward to seeing you around. :hug:
  4. necrodude

    necrodude Well-Known Member

    hi samantha.
  5. reefer madness

    reefer madness Account Closed

    Hi there, welcome to the forum.
  6. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to SF Samantha. It is good to have you here. :hug:
  7. triggs

    triggs Account Closed

    hey samantha :hug: welcome to sf!
    i'm glad you found us xx
  8. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member

    Welcome to SF Samantha.

    :hug: xx
  9. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Hi and welcome! I'm from PA too, but in the northwestern part.
  10. Katii

    Katii Well-Known Member

    Hey! & welcome to SF!
  11. Little_me

    Little_me Well-Known Member

  12. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    Welcome to Sf :)
  13. You certainly didn't ruin your husbands life. You're really pretty for one! I wish I'd knew the words or things to do that could help you. But remember. No one, no matter what anyone tells you, especially if it's yourself, is beyond getting better from this illness of ours. :)

    One thing that helps me is when I notice that my thoughts are starting to go downhill, I try to think about something else. Not necessarily any "happy, happy" stuff, but like anything else, that forces me to think instead of feeling. Yeah, it's much easier said than done, and it may not work, but please try at least, if you haven't already.

    Point is, don't lose hope. We all have that. What is that? You don't believe me? Well try arguing against this!

    "Despair is for people who know, beyond any doubt, what the future is going to bring.
    Nobody is in that position.
    So despair is not only a kind of sin, theologically, but also a simple mistake, because nobody actually knows.
    In that sense there always is hope."

    ;) There is hope! And that is the truth. :)
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