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Newbie with lots to say :)

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by meeshu, Apr 19, 2009.

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  1. meeshu

    meeshu New Member

    Forgive me if this turns out to be a lenghty post but i feel my first intro should be an introduction to myself for others.

    Im 37 and suffered from manic depression for around 20yrs but only started to take medication for the last 6 yrs as i always had that feeling that "i didnt want to take pills to give me false happiness"

    In 2004 my girlfriend aged 26yrs died suddenly of cancer and for me this put the icing on the cake.

    I spiralled out of control taking to cocaine,mdma and any other drug that gave me that quick fix of euphoria but of course the following day it just comes back with a vengence.

    As a self confessed misanthrope ive never confided in anyone of my feelings apart from my mum although she really doesnt understand my thoughts and actions at times (neither do i)

    When you tell your doctor that you cant wait for your mother to die so i can spare her the pain and follow her you know theres a problem.

    People will tell you that life is short and it must go on but i never understood that as everyone is different and life can be an excistence and bind.

    Talking to others about suicide hasnt been a topic for me as i always feel that when indaviduals can talk about it then they have no intentions of actually doing it and its an escape to to pull them out of thier mindset.

    Believe it or not suicide is very rarely painless and often can be unsuccessful with dreadful results.

    mod edit> helena> methods

    It angers me when i read about young people under the age of 20 thinking of ending it all because i feel that they havent endured life yet but then many older than i could say the same thing.

    I have great conversations with my nana who is 84 on daily topics but scare myself when it could be possible i have another 50 yrs on this planet.

    As a non believer suicide doesnt come into right or wrong with dire consequences but of course some will say that God gives life and only God can take it.

    Ask yourself this.......if God does excist than surely he will forgive suicide because he will know why you drove yourself to do it.

    Saying all this it is amazing how people find religion on thier death bed!

    chat soon and hi:smile:
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 19, 2009
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I just wanted to say hi and welcome to the site!!
  3. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Greetings and welcome to the forums.
  4. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the boards.

  5. Remedy

    Remedy Chat & Forum Buddy

    Hey Messhu, welcome to SF! :)
    Sorry to hear about your girlfriend, I can only imagine how hard that must've been. Life is short and in theory we only get one, so it's best to get help for feeling this way as soon as you can. Joining here was a step in the right direction, I'm sure you'll find the support you need.
  6. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Welcome to the forums..
  7. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to the forum. Thanks for giving us a bit of insight into who you are. :shake:
  8. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    hi, welcome to s.f.

    i'm so glad you opened up and shared about yourself.

    i hope you find support here on the forum, there are many wonderful people here.

    feel free to pm, if you want to talk. :hug:
  9. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    welcome to sf :)
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