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Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Itiswhatitis, Aug 24, 2013.

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  1. Itiswhatitis

    Itiswhatitis Active Member

    Hello everyone, I'm new to this site.

    What brings me here is this: I suffer from anxiety, depression, Bipolar and more. For the most part, at the moment, I'm doing "alright". But I keep having these flashes of suicidal thoughts. Like vivid flashes. The how, where, specific details. I'm not particularly suicidal but these thoughts just will not go away. it's obsessive and really irritating.

    I've had problems with these obsessive thoughts in the past, which has caused me big issues with not being able to focus on anything and severe sleep issues. I started drinking because it was the only thing that made me sleepy enough to sleep. I'm now drinking every night, and still not sleeping.I've been hospitalized on four separate occasions for the bipolar and severe anxiety issues. I never want to experience that again. Meds never seem to help, either I have an allergic reaction to them, or the have no effect. I just want these thoughts to go away. Like I said, I'm not particularly suicidal, but these obsessive thoughts sure are not helping.

    Has anyone else ever experienced anything like this that may be able to lend some advice?
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi hun welcome to SF there are many of us that struggling with that obsessive thought what help is distraction doing things that bring you joy replacing that thought with a different one hun i know it is hard but sometimes it works hugs to you
     
  3. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    welcome to sf. I do not have obsessive thoughts to the extent you are talking about. Nor do I have bipolar. But I will tell you that if you keep posting here you will find people who do, for sure.

    It must be very difficult to not have medications work. I am sorry for that. Have you by chance tried unisom instead of the alcohol? I ask that because I think alcohol ends up not working to keep people sleeping. I think when it wares off it has the opposite effect. I do take unisom. But its important of course not to mix it with alcohol. You may already have tried it and found it dint work.

    Please keep posting here. Because you will meet people who have OCD and who are bipolar. And other people like moi :D who have anxiety and depression. Also, I do like the suggestion Total Eclipse wrote about. Sounds like it might be worth a try. Glad you are here. Hope you will continue to post and become a part of this community..... that happens pretty fast :)
     
  4. Itiswhatitis

    Itiswhatitis Active Member

    Thank you everyone four the warm welcome. That's something that I'm certainly not used to having. I've tried finding distractions, but the depression is really good at sucking the enjoyment out of most everything in my life. Being a single mom, working full time, it's all I can do to get out of bed take care of my responsibilities and not succumb to the obsessive thoughts. OTC sleep meds help me to fall a sleep, but not stay asleep. I wake an hour later with the thoughts again.
     
  5. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    you may want to check out curcumin for depression. Its actually tumeric, the plant root. Plain and simple. I have read that it is being used with great success in treating depression. I have not tried it. Nor do I know anyone who has. But it might be worth reading about it if the prescription medications either do not help or make you ill. I also read that curcumin has been used, with even greater success, in combination with some prescription medications.
     
  6. Itiswhatitis

    Itiswhatitis Active Member

    The thoughts are freaking rampant today. I can't focus, I can't retain much information, I'm so exhausted. today.....it's trees. Obsessive thoughts about trees. Everything I do today and everywhere I go, I'm obsessed with trees. Such ass "omg that tree would be PREFECT FOR...." I won't go into details but my god I just need to numb my brain.
     
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