Discussion in 'Welcome' started by empty heart_soul, May 3, 2008.

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  1. :wave::new:

    the screen name is how i feel - empty. not really sure how to describe it not exactly chest pains put a 'hurt' in that area.:unsure: I once thought divorce was the worst thing possible for my family and i thought i would happen. nope - 11.17.97 my father died (brain tumor) dont know how he got it but his job was masonry bricklayer and he was the parent i felt closer too. was never really close to his side and i never will be because they are selfish and opprotunistic people only conacting mom and i when its convientant for them or they want something and my bitch of a 'grandmother' dad's mom accused my mom of murder saying dad was overmedicating by mom when she didnt and the autopsy proved it. i remember in detail his last months like it was yesterday:blue:It should have been me and since then my life has been slow motion no motivation, worst grades of my life at a community college i started less than 2 years later . ive never told my mom - its just real hard to talk to her and my high school reunion is next year - i dont dare to go b/c for whatever stupid reason i was voted a 'senior standout' and ive accomplished basicly nothing:no:about age 15 i was once molested by the dad of a friend - he didnt expose himself just touched me and made me feel completely creeped out. i left that house and never came back this happed about 95, 96. police never called i told my mom not to b/c i was afriad of my friends brother. mom wanted to kill him and dad thought i missundersood. anyway x-friend eneded up working at the same place of mom's and she told her why and never visit and her reaction made my mom wonder did he do something to her. she never called me or came over saying:missyou: or anything so maybe she was never a friend in the fist place. i dont get real excited for holidays. Christmas was a big deal like when i was 6 and believied in :santa: but my shopping list is very short and ive for the most part always done it last minute. i did take a class where i found out there is a word for my type - I am an introvert :shy:- im not that great socially and i like to be alone or with the the few freinds i have and completly trust.ive almost gotten my assocaites but i dont feel these feelings will ever chamge because the past can't be redone and ive got a couple ideas how to do it - i think killing myslef will eventually happen.
    i identify with the songs 'My immortal' by Evansecnce , 'Because Of You' by Kelly Clarkson. & 'What Hurts The Most' by Rascal Flatts:tongue:
    Last edited by a moderator: May 3, 2008
  2. nagisa

    nagisa Staff Alumni

    Welcome to SF!! :hug:

    If you ever want to talk, I'm here. :smile:
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    welcome to the forum :hug:
  4. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member

    Maybe that friend was too ashamed of what her father did to contact you?

    Welcome to the forum
  5. black orchid

    black orchid Well-Known Member

    Welcome to SF...

    I hope you find whatever you are looking for here.
  6. carol2237

    carol2237 Guest

    Welcome to SF hunny! I am here if ya need to talk, just send me a PM :)

  7. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Welcome to the forum
  8. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to the forum. I can relate to the issues you have mentioned. Dealing with them are never easy and deppressive feelings help to make matters even worse. I know there are amny members that would be willing to help support you when you are feeling down. Please take care and stay safe. thank you for sharing with us. :hug:
  9. Gunner12

    Gunner12 Well-Known Member


    The past might be written in stone, but the future is still an oppotunity for change.
  10. witweew

    witweew Member

    ....yeah -- i agree, people are basically getting sick of the

    same old rock/hip-hop/r&b bullsh*t..:smile:...

    and there is just this big upsurge from a new style
    coming out of Europe -- best place i've found it so

    far is a compilation series called 'euro club hits' on itunes

    -- or check this link::tongue:
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