Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Bluebutterfly, Oct 5, 2011.

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  1. Bluebutterfly

    Bluebutterfly Member

    Hi everyone,

    Thought i would introduce myself. My father took his own life in July and i'm still feeling a little lost about everything. I havent been able to find anyone who would understand, and if i talk to my family i end up upsetting them as we are in different places emotionally.

    Am hoping this place might be perfect for me to vent and understand what my dad was thinking in those final moments.

    Thanks all.

  2. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    Welcome, BlueButterfly. I love your username. :]

    First of all, R.I.P. your dad. I am sorry for your loss. I too hope this place will help you out. Good seeing you. :)

  3. takencontrol

    takencontrol Well-Known Member

    hi bluebutterfly, welcome to sf and i hope we can give you the support and help you need at this time. im so sorry for your loss. :hug:
  4. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    Welcome Bluebutterfly.. glad you are here with us now.. it is okay to talk about your loss here.. Jim
  5. BeautifullyChaotic

    BeautifullyChaotic Well-Known Member

    Hello BlueButterfly :) Welcome to SF.
  6. Growing Pains

    Growing Pains Well-Known Member

    My father took his, too. It was much longer ago, but if you need to talk, just hit me up with a message. I'm sorry for your loss. :hug:

    Welcome to SF. I hope you find what you're looking for here.
  7. Bluebutterfly

    Bluebutterfly Member

    Thank you everyone for your kind words. I notice many of you are from the USA, I'm in England where i am finding suicide is still a very sensitive subject. Alot of people i know seem to be avoiding me, and we (my family) have felt very isolated due to what my dad has done. We all feel like we have done something wrong....

    Its a very embarrassing subject, and i generally dont feel comfortable discussing it anymore due to the reactions i got. When it first happened, the gossip spread like wold fire and it was as if my dad had been murder or something. Not nice when your in shock....

    Anyway, sorry for rambling, can someone just advice on how much detail i can go into on here? I dont want to get it wrong when i have only just joined.


  8. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    I am so glad you asked. The rules are a little hard to ascertain right away as a new member, I am sure! As for methods, I think the general rule of thumb is to not go into details about any methods (kinds of specifics that may help others go forward with something we do not want to see them do).

    Also, I think suicidal feelings is sort of a taboo (only word I can think of) topic in the USA too from what I've seen. I'm not sure what it's like in the UK, but from what you describe, it sounds like the way this sensitive topic is treated in many cases (just IMHO from my experience). I hope the first paragraph is helpful to give you an idea of what's allowed and not allowed here. I am so pleased that you are being cautious. And if you have any further questions, don't hesitate to ask! ;)
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 5, 2011
  9. Bluebutterfly

    Bluebutterfly Member

    Thank you so much for clearing that up. I will watch what i say, wouldnt want to help someone do the unthinkable.
  10. BeautifullyChaotic

    BeautifullyChaotic Well-Known Member

    Suicide is very taboo in the US as well, here, being depressed makes you "crazy" and attempting suicide is even illegal. I always thought that was kinda funny, illegal. They can't arrest you, but can put you under a 72 hour suicide watch in a behavioral medicine ward and keep you too doped up to talk if they wish, just to send you right back to whatever crap made you want to die in the first place and expect you to show up for monthly appointments on an outpatient basis.
    If you even tell a friend or family member that you want to die they can take a mental hygiene warrant on you and send you away. Sometimes the facilities do help, sometimes they don't.
    That's why I love this site, I can be honest about my feelings and everyone understands and no one judges me or calls me crazy. When I first came here I really wanted to die and felt no hope, but hearing everyone else's stories and seeing how so many have learned to overcome these feelings and see the beauty in life, if only for a moment a day, that gives me hope for my own future.
  11. Bluebutterfly

    Bluebutterfly Member

    Thank you for being so honest with me.

    Sounds alot worse over in the US with regards to depression than here in the UK. We seem to have accepted that people get depressed over here, but no-one understands the suicide part and no-one really knows what to say to you either. So i suppose for some folk its easier to cross the street and keep your head down, than to ask me how i am.

    Which is why i came here, to find someone who will say, yes, i understand (and really mean it!)
  12. takencontrol

    takencontrol Well-Known Member

    i live in Scotland and agree, depression is more accepted now but suicide is still a little 'brushed under the carpet' so to speak. a lot of people just dont know what to say or are afraid they say the wrong thing if you admit to having suicidal thoughts or feelings. tbh i have been in contact with the Samaritans a few times not so long ago and they were fantastic, helping me to express those thoughts and feelings with no judgement at all, in a safe and controlled way. sf is also a fantastic site for support whether its you having those thoughts and feelings or its happened to someone close. anyway, i hope you can find the help and support you need here. :hug:
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 5, 2011
  13. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hi Bluebutterfly, Welcome to the forums!! I recently lossed my mom.. Not to suicide but the pain is still there.. I can only imagine loosing your dad to suicide can be devastateting.. I'm sorry for your loss!! Keep posting here and get ity off your chest...
  14. In Limbo

    In Limbo Forum Buddy

    Hi Bluebutterfly - I can't say that I've been through the same experience as you, but I have attempted - and am here to talk about that or anything else regarding suicide or depression should you want to.

    Much love,
  15. Bluebutterfly

    Bluebutterfly Member

    Hi Chris,

    Thank you so much for your reply, are you in the UK?
  16. In Limbo

    In Limbo Forum Buddy

    Yep - Worcestershire
  17. Bluebutterfly

    Bluebutterfly Member

    Wow, what a small world. I'm herefordshire!
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