Today is April 18, 2016. Today marks one year I proved I was strong enough to leave an abusive relationship. This day may not be special to anyone else, but today I am so proud of myself. After three years of being mentally and physically beat down, I have officially been free of it all for an entire year today. I am a survivor. I may not have anyone in my life right now that knows everything that happened, but dear god, I have me. I know what I did. I know what I have overcome. Yesterday I think I lost my best friend. I could tell her anything and everything going on and so much of me wants to scream to her that I am still here today after all of this and revel in my accomplishment. But I met her on here, so I should be okay with the suicide threats and pictures of self injury I received, but it just made me so sad. I haven't been in the right frame of mind to be able to help her. So I decided that I would rather her be mad at me than for her to not be here at all. I messaged her mother on Facebook to help her because I knew I couldn't. When I saw her picture it triggered me so much all I wanted to do was do the same to my body. To feel that feeling. So I knew I wouldn't be able to stop her. Instead of understanding that I was trying to be helpful she ended up blocking me. This is the twenty-first century and she can do as she pleases, but have it known I did the same to her. After I found out she blocked me I did the same for a few hours. On everything she could possibly use to contact me. If I was going to be exiled for helping, I wasn't about to be a victim. Today, I have re-evaluated my maturity and unblocked everything because I know I am a survivor. I don't need to add drama to my life anymore. I've had quite enough drama in my life. Today, my name is Kaitlin and I am surivivor. I don't know what tomorrow holds for me, but looking at how far I have come in just a year I know I can do this. I'm just over a week free of self harm myself and I will celebrate every single second of that. I have depression and anxiety and it sucks, but I refuse to let it be the end of the world. Today, as I sit outside in the sunlight smoking my cigarette and drinking my coffee I began thinking just how amazing all human beings are. I am a human being too. I am amazing. You are amazing. We are all amazing. It's about time everyone realized just how incredible we all really are. I'm not expecting this newfound mindset to last forever, but today? Today, goddamnit, I am amazing.