Night Again

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by itmahanh, Apr 1, 2011.

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  1. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    and it feels like I'm not going to see tomorrow morning.
     
  2. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    :hug: You can spend your time here. We are here for you.
     
  3. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    itmahanh - I was sorry to read your post..... whats going on that you are feeling this way tonight?
     
  4. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    It's like this almost every night. But tonight, I dont want to fight it.
     
  5. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Please do fight it.. please.

    I know its so hard to do, but you can do it like you have before.

    Can you distract yourself or do something that'll help with these thoughts?

    Am around if you need to chat. Just send a msg and I'll be right there.

    Please take care.
     
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hey i with you tonight not want to fight this anymore i hope you can call someone just to talk okay i j ust did and it helped hugs to yo u
     
  7. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    Hey C...I feel like that too ....don't want you to give up though ...
    I'm back to all the negative thinking again...is that maybe whats happening to you?
    :hug::flowers:
     
  8. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Ok so big deal, I've made it to another day. And it's the same as all the days before. I'm struggling just to keep breathing. It's not worth it. The fight is bigger than the battle itself. I'm done. See I have what I need to end it but I have nothing to keep it going. Pain or peace? Pretty easy decision.
     
  9. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    I think the decision seems pretty easy, but its not, its really not.

    When you ask pain or peace - sure - we'd all choose peace, definitely.

    I know what its like when things feel like they will never change and when I've said to myself whats the point as I'm going around in circles all the time. And at those times - yes peace would have been good and I was close.

    But when I hung on, the days after weren't so bad. It wasn't pleasant, but not quite as dark.

    Can you get in touch with some friends or similar today? Can you get out and do something?

    What can we all do here to help you today?
     
  10. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    I dont have friends in RL near me. Only one is far away. What I do have is a combination of 250 meds and they are so close. I dont want to go outside. I dont want to read a book. I dont want to be distracted. I want the meds.
     
  11. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Hi,

    I understand re friends.. in the same boat here.

    Can you call your friend instead? Or call a crises line? Or keep talking with me?

    I understand the desire for the meds. But it might not work.....

    Can you move those meds out of reach for today?

    hugs to you..
     
  12. bluegrey

    bluegrey Antiquities Friend

    Carla, it takes patience- so much that it feels like stupidity to keep fighting a brutal and hopeless battle on so many fronts. Relief- a life well worth living is absolutely out there, somehow, through whatever means. It takes perseverance- inhuman patience but keep trying, please.
     
  13. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    i have nothing left to lose.
     
  14. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    you have your friends who care for you C h ugs
     
  15. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Please take care.
     
  16. PollyAnna

    PollyAnna Account Closed

    Please don't go!
    Its pure-hearted people like you that give I and others hope :hug:
     
  17. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    there will only be peace for you hun...everyone else will suffer pain when you leave them :hug:
    I would miss you dear friend
     
  18. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    this week holds several anniversaries for me and i plan to relive them and do it right this time.
     
  19. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    I am sorry this is a tough week coming up for you. But why not let this year be different and have the meaning for this week change into something more positive for you in the future? It already is as you've made it this far. Keep the positive things in mind, what you have already accomplished.

    Look at all the posts from your friends here who obviously care a great deal for you, lean on them and let them carry you through the next few days.

    Please keep trying, take care.
     
  20. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    hey time to live for YOU now okay time to let the past be and just live for you my friend I know that is hard i know but try to just be good to you okay hugs
     
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