Ok so big deal, I've made it to another day. And it's the same as all the days before. I'm struggling just to keep breathing. It's not worth it. The fight is bigger than the battle itself. I'm done. See I have what I need to end it but I have nothing to keep it going. Pain or peace? Pretty easy decision.
I think the decision seems pretty easy, but its not, its really not.
When you ask pain or peace - sure - we'd all choose peace, definitely.
I know what its like when things feel like they will never change and when I've said to myself whats the point as I'm going around in circles all the time. And at those times - yes peace would have been good and I was close.
But when I hung on, the days after weren't so bad. It wasn't pleasant, but not quite as dark.
Can you get in touch with some friends or similar today? Can you get out and do something?
I dont have friends in RL near me. Only one is far away. What I do have is a combination of 250 meds and they are so close. I dont want to go outside. I dont want to read a book. I dont want to be distracted. I want the meds.
Carla, it takes patience- so much that it feels like stupidity to keep fighting a brutal and hopeless battle on so many fronts. Relief- a life well worth living is absolutely out there, somehow, through whatever means. It takes perseverance- inhuman patience but keep trying, please.
I am sorry this is a tough week coming up for you. But why not let this year be different and have the meaning for this week change into something more positive for you in the future? It already is as you've made it this far. Keep the positive things in mind, what you have already accomplished.
Look at all the posts from your friends here who obviously care a great deal for you, lean on them and let them carry you through the next few days.